Nothing much to say

I haven't written anything fertility related because there really hasn't been much to say. Everything is set up for my laparoscopy at the beginning of October. I got a big packet of information in the mail from my RE the other day about it. I need to look at it more closely. I am supposed to watch a video. The one thing I did notice was that I am not supposed to have intercourse from the time of my period before my procedure until after my post-op appointment. That means from approximately September 20th until October 26th, no nookie for me. There was no explanation but I am assuming that they don't want me to be pregnant for the procedure and they don't want me to get any sort of infection post-surgery. I guess the office has forgotten the fact that I am infertile and all the sex in the world probably isn't going to get me pregnant. I am thinking maybe we can just use condoms and sneak in a little sex. DH said that for two people trying to have a baby, they sure tell us not to have sex a lot. (No sex for 3-5 days before a SA and no sex for 10 days before my sonoHSG.)

DH and I are supposed to be trying currently. It would be really nice to accidentally get pregnant this month, despite me being infertile. Then I wouldn't have to go through with this surgery. DH says he is on board but his actions say otherwise. I am bitter and angry at him and haven't said a word because I know it will only make things worse. I was debating about whether or not to even mention this. But, it is all part of the journey. So, unless having my man ejaculate on my arm is going to get me pregnant this month, looks like I better start looking forward to the intense period pain and the month of no sex and a surgical procedure. Of course, after my fertile window passed, DH had no issues getting his sperm where they were supposed to be.

I've been reading a lot of posts on a yahoo group for people with messed up uteruses. It is a place I feel very much at home. It is so sad to see posts from people who have had multiple loses. Part of me thinks, At least they can get pregnant. Mostly though it makes me glad I never have gotten pregnant and had to face a loss. Instead I just face loss every month when AF shows up. I was reading a girl's blog from high school whom I have recently reconnected with. I got to be bitter all over again. She mentioned something about being infertile. I don't know her whole story, other than it took her a little while (about a year) to get pregnant. She has two biological girls, no miscarriages, and has plans to have one more. And she still had the audacity to claim she suffers from infertility? Those poor ladies on the yahoo group with multiple losses have the right to claim infertility, or those people like myself who have tried for close to three years now with no biological children are infertile. Once you pop out a few kids after a short time trying and non-eventful pregnancies, you have to turn in your infertility card.