Gearing up

Our first appointment with the RE is tomorrow. I think I am supposed to be excited but just not really feeling it. Maybe I am going into an emotional coma. It doesn't help that nothing is easy around here. My mom is coming to watch the kids so I have to get their clothes ready for the day, breakfast made, a snack laid out, and some notes for my mom written up. The RE sent us this huge packet of forms to fill out so we are putting the finishing touches on that. I had to dig through some boxes to try to locate the MRI scans I had done in January 2006 of my uterus in case the RE wants to look at that. (I tried to figure them out myself and all I can see is that I have two kidneys. I don't have a clue where the uterus is in the hundred or so angles I have.) Then tomorrow we have to get out of the house (without my mom knowing that DH is here and going with me) and navigate rush hour traffic to get to the office.

Along with all the things to do, there are emotions too. Mainly, a big old WTF are we doing?? Maybe I am just a huge pessimist and feel that all this is going to be a big pain in the ass for nothing. We are pouring out energy, time, and money and in the end I feel like there isn't going to be anything to show for it. And what if this all actually works and I have to deal with all the worries of being pregnant? I am just trying to keep in mind why it is that we are doing this in the first place. First of all, we really want to add another child to our family. And second, I never want to look back and think that we never tried this route.