The Other Half of my Uterus Story (not that I have another half to my uterus since that part never formed which is the point to this blog)
Continued from previous post.
So... I had an HSG in January 2006 and after lots of whispering and calling in extra people to look, my doctor said I probably had a unicornuate or bicornuate uterus. I was by myself at the hospital when I had the test done. I was doing the best I possibly could to hold it all together while my dr was trying to explain this to me. I cried while changing back into my clothes and then pulled it together for the walk out to my car. I dropped the book I took to read twice on the walk to the car which lead to some lady making the comment to me, "Just having one of those days, huh?" She had no clue what kind of day I was having. Back at my car I sent DH a txt msg that said something like, "All done" because I didn't want to give him any clue that anything was wrong via txt msg. Then I cried the whole way home. It took me quite a while to get home because I was in a strange area of town and I was upset and confused and ended up getting completely lost which really didn't help things at all.
As soon as I got home I got on my computer to see what I could find on unicornuate uteruses. I can't remember exactly what my dr said that might have directed my thoughts towards UU and not bicornuate uterus, but I was convinced then that I had a UU. My friend I had met from an infertility message board, Jess, sent me an instant message to find out how the test went. She talked me down off a ledge while I googled "unicornuate uterus". I told Jess all about what happened and she was a great support (and is still a great friend, even though we have never met in person). The information I found on UUs wasn't overly helpful, and mostly pessimistic. Everything was about miscarriages, stillbirths, and preterm labor. One thing I read said that there is only a 20% chance of a full term pregnancy with a UU.
I decided I was going to completely keep it together while I told DH about the HSG. When he got home from work he asked how the test went. I started out all fine until I got to the part where everyone started whispering. Then I started crying so hard I couldn't go on. I didn't want to go on. DH was great. At one point I told him that maybe Jess would have to tell him because I didn't know if I could. I managed to get it all out. I didn't feel like cooking that night so we went out to dinner and talked some more. We decided that night that instead of facing all the risks, we were going to adopt. I have never regretted that decision and I think it was the most helpful step towards me coming to peace with my uterus.
My dr office was great. The next day they called around to every imaging center in the county and made me an appointment for a few days later to have an MRI. DH insisted on going with me to the MRI even though I told him that was unnecessary since all it involved was me lying there. Plus, it wasn't like they could give me any more bad news. The MRI revealed that as far as UUs go, mine isn't too bad. I have a right UU, no rudimentary horn (an undeveloped section of uterus), two ovaries, one fallopian tube, and two kidneys.
My dr kept telling me that he could get me pregnant. Not really sure how he can make that statement. Every time I talk to him, he gives me all kinds of confidence that I can carry a child. I did talk to an RE, probably in March 2006. At that time we had already started the adoption process so pursuing infertility treatments wasn't something we were even interested in.
We finalized the adoption of M and brought him home around Halloween 2006 when he was 7 months old. We finalized the adoption of W and brought him home around Thanksgiving 2007 when he was 11 months old. Shortly after W arrived, I ran out of birth control. There was really just too much going on in our household at that point to really think about getting a prescription refill. So, I just didn't. About three months went by before my birth control came up in conversation with DH. Although he wasn't ready to have another child at the time, and neither was I, neither of us were concerned about me not being on birth control. Life went on as normal and here I am a year and a half later and still no birth control or pregnancy.
We talked for awhile about adding a third child to our family. None of the international adoption programs really seem to fit our family at this time. Our state has really crappy domestic adoption laws and neither of us are excited enough about domestic adoption to really want to try to explore those laws. I would love to experience pregnancy and breastfeeding and having a newborn in the house. So, here we are!
So... I had an HSG in January 2006 and after lots of whispering and calling in extra people to look, my doctor said I probably had a unicornuate or bicornuate uterus. I was by myself at the hospital when I had the test done. I was doing the best I possibly could to hold it all together while my dr was trying to explain this to me. I cried while changing back into my clothes and then pulled it together for the walk out to my car. I dropped the book I took to read twice on the walk to the car which lead to some lady making the comment to me, "Just having one of those days, huh?" She had no clue what kind of day I was having. Back at my car I sent DH a txt msg that said something like, "All done" because I didn't want to give him any clue that anything was wrong via txt msg. Then I cried the whole way home. It took me quite a while to get home because I was in a strange area of town and I was upset and confused and ended up getting completely lost which really didn't help things at all.
As soon as I got home I got on my computer to see what I could find on unicornuate uteruses. I can't remember exactly what my dr said that might have directed my thoughts towards UU and not bicornuate uterus, but I was convinced then that I had a UU. My friend I had met from an infertility message board, Jess, sent me an instant message to find out how the test went. She talked me down off a ledge while I googled "unicornuate uterus". I told Jess all about what happened and she was a great support (and is still a great friend, even though we have never met in person). The information I found on UUs wasn't overly helpful, and mostly pessimistic. Everything was about miscarriages, stillbirths, and preterm labor. One thing I read said that there is only a 20% chance of a full term pregnancy with a UU.
I decided I was going to completely keep it together while I told DH about the HSG. When he got home from work he asked how the test went. I started out all fine until I got to the part where everyone started whispering. Then I started crying so hard I couldn't go on. I didn't want to go on. DH was great. At one point I told him that maybe Jess would have to tell him because I didn't know if I could. I managed to get it all out. I didn't feel like cooking that night so we went out to dinner and talked some more. We decided that night that instead of facing all the risks, we were going to adopt. I have never regretted that decision and I think it was the most helpful step towards me coming to peace with my uterus.
My dr office was great. The next day they called around to every imaging center in the county and made me an appointment for a few days later to have an MRI. DH insisted on going with me to the MRI even though I told him that was unnecessary since all it involved was me lying there. Plus, it wasn't like they could give me any more bad news. The MRI revealed that as far as UUs go, mine isn't too bad. I have a right UU, no rudimentary horn (an undeveloped section of uterus), two ovaries, one fallopian tube, and two kidneys.
My dr kept telling me that he could get me pregnant. Not really sure how he can make that statement. Every time I talk to him, he gives me all kinds of confidence that I can carry a child. I did talk to an RE, probably in March 2006. At that time we had already started the adoption process so pursuing infertility treatments wasn't something we were even interested in.
We finalized the adoption of M and brought him home around Halloween 2006 when he was 7 months old. We finalized the adoption of W and brought him home around Thanksgiving 2007 when he was 11 months old. Shortly after W arrived, I ran out of birth control. There was really just too much going on in our household at that point to really think about getting a prescription refill. So, I just didn't. About three months went by before my birth control came up in conversation with DH. Although he wasn't ready to have another child at the time, and neither was I, neither of us were concerned about me not being on birth control. Life went on as normal and here I am a year and a half later and still no birth control or pregnancy.
We talked for awhile about adding a third child to our family. None of the international adoption programs really seem to fit our family at this time. Our state has really crappy domestic adoption laws and neither of us are excited enough about domestic adoption to really want to try to explore those laws. I would love to experience pregnancy and breastfeeding and having a newborn in the house. So, here we are!
posted by AM | 4:20 AM
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