Nothin' Much

My pup can now never have babies, thanks to me. She spent the night at the vet last night and I have to pick her up today. I miss her terribly but I'm really glad I didn't have to take care of her post-surgery yesterday with two crazy kids running around.

My RE appointment is tomorrow. Still have to do the paperwork and DH has to do his paperwork and have to figure out how I am going to drive there and DH is going to get to work afterward and if I drive DH to work, how he is going to get home from work. My mom hasn't asked what my appointment is for but I am sure she will ask tomorrow, or maybe when I see her today. Maybe I will get lucky and she will forget to ask and I can avoid lying.

I've been charting. I'm on calendar day (CD) 18 and no sign whatsoever of ovulating (O). I probably shouldn't be surprised, but it would be nice to get this cycle going so we can try whatever tricks the RE has up his sleeve next cycle. I've been trying to think a little about what it would be like to be pregnant and have another kid at this point. Then I quickly decide not to think about it because it scares me to death. I am trying to focus on one step at a time. It isn't really working though. Being on bedrest is a very real possibility. No clue how I would swing that and take care of my boys. I could even end up on bedrest in the hospital, which is the worst thought ever, to have to be away from my kids for that long and stuck in a bed. It is very likely if I do get pregnant, my child will be born premature, and the thought of trying to juggle being with my boys and running back and forth to the hospital to be with my baby is scary. Who knows, maybe I will never O, this cycle will never end, and we will never even be able to try to have a baby.