Cycle 1, 19 dpIUI

Haven't had anything to say for a while and now I have a ton to say. I kept putting off getting my blood pregnancy test. I was supposed to go Thursday but I had a ton going on, including my brother and his gf staying with me for the weekend. I thought I would go Saturday, but there was a snow storm and I didn't want to make an appointment and have to drive through snow to get to the city. There has still been no sign of AF and my temps have been all over the place, even though I stopped taking the progesterone suppositories, even though I wasn't supposed to. So, I went bright and early this morning to get my blood pregnancy test.

The nurse was hopeful for good news since my period was late but I told her I really doubted I was pregnant because I am pretty sure I ovulated early. I stopped on the way home to get something to help me poop. I always get constipated right before AF shows up and since AF has been supposed to show up for a week now things have pretty much slowed to a stop in there. The nurse at my RE office said they would call early today since their office wasn't open all day. I went home and went sled riding with the kids. I kept my phone close because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss the call. I wanted to know how long after I stopped the suppositories was I supposed to get AF because I am anxious to move forward.

They finally called around noon. The nurse said, "I have some good news." I don't really know anything else she said after that because I was in some serious shock. I heard something about how I'm pregnant and how she thought it was funny since I was just saying this morning there was no way. She rattled off a bunch of numbers along with what hormone they went with but I have no clue what she said. The one number was one thousand something. I kind of panicked a little because I stopped taking the progesterone. I have to go back in on Tuesday because something is supposed to double by then. After that appointment I'll schedule to have an u/s done sometime after Christmas. There was probably more than that said but I was really quite dazed. I should probably start taking my progesterone again... and maybe I shouldn't have been sled riding today.

I thought for sure DH would know when I came back from my phone call because I think I was squealing while I was on the phone. I might have shouted the news to him but my brother was just walking through the room to go back to the room where he has been staying. He was gone so I whispered in DH's ear, "I'm pregnant." He had no clue how to react. We sat on the couch together for a few minutes and I kept saying how I couldn't be, and this makes me wrong like 10 times over, and it just didn't make any sense. Seriously, no sense at all. I ovulated early. My chart is consistent with me ovulating early. My chart doesn't really make much sense apart from clearly showing that I ovulated early. After 3 years of no birth control I was never ever pregnant so why would I be now? My follicles weren't big enough.

Then I had to text my BFF. I just sent, "WTF??? BFP". She called a little after that was basically gave me a big "seriously?" followed by a "I told you so". Jerk. I really still didn't believe it. Like, maybe I heard the nurse wrong, but I would have had to have heard her really wrong. I was due to see my BFF and some other friends in like 30 minutes.

I decided to whip out one of my expired pregnancy tests. I needed to really physically see it for myself, because I can't just believe what people tell me. I peed. It looked like this so I took pictures.

I made DH come in and look at it. I am really anti-take-photos-of-things-you-peed-on-and-then-post-them-for-the-world-to-look-at. I think I get a free pass. I am going to play the half a uterus and 36 months of no birth control card.

Off to see my friends. On the sly, BFF slipped me a card that said congrats and I told you so. I whispered the news to my other friend that knew we were trying. She pretty much said she told me so too. Wow, what great friends I have!

Tonight we had a family Christmas celebration. It would be the only time probably until next Christmas that my siblings and parents would be all together at the same time. I debated since I heard the news whether or not I would announce it. It is just soooo early. I might have even felt more comfortable after the second blood test to see if my numbers rise like they are supposed to. I ended up deciding to just tell them. Then we all arrived and I decided not to. I kind of forgot about my niece (age 10) and nephew (age 7). My nephew wouldn't care but my niece would be really overly excited and I really didn't want for anyone to have to explain to her all the details if this doesn't stick. So, no one knows. (Well, apart from DH and my two friends.) I think I'll tell my brother tomorrow since he is leaving town Tuesday. I'll tell my parents Christmas Eve, my sister and DH's parents and sister on Christmas day. Then not a word to anyone else for as long as I can. I guess I still need to tell J, my friend who was trying this month too. That makes me scared too. What if I have good news and she has bad news?

I don't really feel any different. Maybe. But it might all be in my head just because I know now. When I was with my friends today there was a big table filled with food and my first instinct when I saw it all was to throw up. This evening hanging out with my family I just felt... off. Like just didn't feel quite right. And tired. But that could just be because I was so darn busy today. I'm bloated too.

I'm kind of excited but mostly still in shock. And also just reserved because I know the road ahead will be a long one full of uncertainty and no clue what the outcome is going to be. But, I guess I'm pregnant. Using a phrase that DS1 commonly uses, I don't believe it!

And just for shits and giggles, here is my totally messed up chart. I sure am glad I can stop getting up at 6:10 every morning just to take my temp.