32w, 5d
Still hanging in here. Had a bit of a setback earlier this week. The pain just got too intense and nothing I had available was helping so I went back to the hospital before dawn on Tuesday morning. They admitted me and ran a million tests to try to figure out if there was something new going on that was causing the pain. Nothing was found so it was all chalked up to being poor pain management after surgery. I spent about 36 hours there total, which was plenty considering how ticked off at the nurses I was getting at the end. I had been put on the morphine pump again while I was there and then switched back to percoset. This time they sent me home with a ton of percoset. I had a bit of a meltdown while talking to one of the drs. I really really hate taking narcotics while I have these two little babies growing in me. The dr kept reassuring me that I NEED the drugs and it isn't going to have any lasting effect on the babies. I still hate it. Plus, I am just so tired of having to be away from my kids. I am sure it is bad for anyone but being that they were adopted and I missed so much of the beginning of their lives only to bring them into this situation where there mommy is sick and in the hospital all the time makes me feel like crap. Was also feeling pretty hopeless just about being in so much pain and so sick. I feel like I still have months to deal with this. No idea when the babies are coming of course but it seems like as soon as I am going to be really recovering from the surgery, I'll give birth and have to recover from that. My chances of a c-section are much higher now since I shouldn't be laboring if I'm not really recovered from the surgery yet. I'll find out for sure at my u/s tomorrow, but I am thinking these babies have moved dramatically and aren't even head down anymore. I was hoping for a vag birth, but didn't really care too much if it was going to have to turn into a c-section. Now I am just dreading a c-section because it is yet another surgery. I am sick of being sliced open.
I got the staples taken on early on Tuesday. Everything I read online said it didn't hurt, that it was just some pulling. The internet lies. It wasn't that painful but lots of stinging and certainly more than just a little pulling. The dr noted that a small part at the bottom of the incision was a little infected and didn't say anymore about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night Tuesday at the hospital to pee. I noticed there was blood on the TP. I called in the nurse thinking maybe it was some sort of start of labor since I haven't had any bleeding the whole pregnancy. I was actually pretty excited to be going into preterm labor because I am so sick of being pregnant. The nurse gave me a pad to put on and some of those fancy net underwear since I wasn't wearing underwear. I went to put that on and realized the blood and weird liquid were coming from the incision and had just rolled south instead of originating down there. Guess the floodgates of my slightly infected incision decided to open up. A dr came in to check it out and packed my wound with a packing strip and covered everything up. Since I have been home, I have had in-home nursing care coming daily to clean my incision and repack the wound. I asked the nurse today and she said it will probably be a few weeks until it is healed. The nurses were hoping to teach DH how to care for the wound so I wouldn't have to have the in-home care. DH tried to watch the one day but was pretty grossed out by it. I don't blame him. I can't even see it since it is in the area under my big pregnancy belly, but it still grosses me out.
Oh and as of Tuesday I was 1 cm dilated. I realize that could mean nothing and I could be like that for months, but it does give me this tiny little glimmer of hope that maybe someday down the line I will have these babies in my arms and not inside my broken body. They did an FFN test on me as well. It came back positive this time around. I also realize that a positive doesn't mean much. A negative is pretty reliable that you won't go into the labor in the next 1-2 weeks, but a positive doesn't mean you will. But once again, still gives me hope that it really is a possibility!
Babies are going crazy in my belly on a regular basis. They are kicking me and it hurts. DH got a chance to feel them again last night. He hasn't felt them too often because it seems he is never close to me when they start moving and I know if I get up to take my belly to him, the babies will stop. Right after he was feeling them move, the one little kiddo decided to stretch out or something and there was a foot clearing sticking out of my side. It freaked me out.
I had a couple very generous friends come over yesterday and help with things around here. One friend wrapped all my Christmas presents for me. The other assembled a crib. We have had so many people bringing us food that it is overwhelming my already emotional self. We even had a package from Omaha Steaks delivered from a friend who lives in Hawaii! I got some flowers and later this week someone is bringing over some groceries and taking my pup out for a walk since she hasn't gotten much exercise.
That is about it. I am finally getting to the point of recovery where each day I can honestly say I feel a little bit better than the day before. I am still taking 2 percoset every 4 hours but I think tomorrow after my u/s I'm going to try out 1.5 percoset every 4 hours and see how that goes. I just want to take it slow because I certainly do not want to end up back in the hospital again. DH and I are going to attempt to take the kids to the mall here in a bit to get their picture taken with Santa. My sister called to let me know that the mall has complimentary wheelchairs. I can't believe I have gotten to the point in my life that riding in a wheelchair sounds like the most amazing thing ever. Out with the strollers! In with the wheelchairs! This will be the first time I have been out of the house since Black Friday where I am not just going to the hospital.
I got the staples taken on early on Tuesday. Everything I read online said it didn't hurt, that it was just some pulling. The internet lies. It wasn't that painful but lots of stinging and certainly more than just a little pulling. The dr noted that a small part at the bottom of the incision was a little infected and didn't say anymore about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night Tuesday at the hospital to pee. I noticed there was blood on the TP. I called in the nurse thinking maybe it was some sort of start of labor since I haven't had any bleeding the whole pregnancy. I was actually pretty excited to be going into preterm labor because I am so sick of being pregnant. The nurse gave me a pad to put on and some of those fancy net underwear since I wasn't wearing underwear. I went to put that on and realized the blood and weird liquid were coming from the incision and had just rolled south instead of originating down there. Guess the floodgates of my slightly infected incision decided to open up. A dr came in to check it out and packed my wound with a packing strip and covered everything up. Since I have been home, I have had in-home nursing care coming daily to clean my incision and repack the wound. I asked the nurse today and she said it will probably be a few weeks until it is healed. The nurses were hoping to teach DH how to care for the wound so I wouldn't have to have the in-home care. DH tried to watch the one day but was pretty grossed out by it. I don't blame him. I can't even see it since it is in the area under my big pregnancy belly, but it still grosses me out.
Oh and as of Tuesday I was 1 cm dilated. I realize that could mean nothing and I could be like that for months, but it does give me this tiny little glimmer of hope that maybe someday down the line I will have these babies in my arms and not inside my broken body. They did an FFN test on me as well. It came back positive this time around. I also realize that a positive doesn't mean much. A negative is pretty reliable that you won't go into the labor in the next 1-2 weeks, but a positive doesn't mean you will. But once again, still gives me hope that it really is a possibility!
Babies are going crazy in my belly on a regular basis. They are kicking me and it hurts. DH got a chance to feel them again last night. He hasn't felt them too often because it seems he is never close to me when they start moving and I know if I get up to take my belly to him, the babies will stop. Right after he was feeling them move, the one little kiddo decided to stretch out or something and there was a foot clearing sticking out of my side. It freaked me out.
I had a couple very generous friends come over yesterday and help with things around here. One friend wrapped all my Christmas presents for me. The other assembled a crib. We have had so many people bringing us food that it is overwhelming my already emotional self. We even had a package from Omaha Steaks delivered from a friend who lives in Hawaii! I got some flowers and later this week someone is bringing over some groceries and taking my pup out for a walk since she hasn't gotten much exercise.
That is about it. I am finally getting to the point of recovery where each day I can honestly say I feel a little bit better than the day before. I am still taking 2 percoset every 4 hours but I think tomorrow after my u/s I'm going to try out 1.5 percoset every 4 hours and see how that goes. I just want to take it slow because I certainly do not want to end up back in the hospital again. DH and I are going to attempt to take the kids to the mall here in a bit to get their picture taken with Santa. My sister called to let me know that the mall has complimentary wheelchairs. I can't believe I have gotten to the point in my life that riding in a wheelchair sounds like the most amazing thing ever. Out with the strollers! In with the wheelchairs! This will be the first time I have been out of the house since Black Friday where I am not just going to the hospital.
posted by AM | 11:44 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home