25w, 1d

What a crazy week. My aunt died. Along with all the normal stress involved with a family death, I also had to deal with not having my mom available to help me out with the kids most days this week. Even though I have pretty much let them watch non-stop tv while I lay on the couch, that doesn't stop their need for me to get them to school and back, feed them, wipe their bums, and break up stupid quarrels. I'm exhausted and it is only Wednesday. I'm starting to really regret the fact that I offered for about 15 relatives to come over here in a couple hours for dinner.

What I really wanted to write about though was the dream I had last night. It took me the longest time after I got pregnant to start dreaming that I was actually having two babies. All my dreams involved one baby that was usually a girl. Finally, two dreams this week that I had twin boys. The first one involved me attempting to breastfeed them both at the same time and my mom and sister sitting around watching me juggle babies and no one helping me. Last night I had a dream I gave birth to these little boys. It was an odd dream. DH was in the room along with some weirdo man that was supposed to be his dad but certainly wasn't. Also present were two fictitious friends of DH that were complete stoners and kept talking about pot during the whole birth process. I gave birth to the babies and was able to see them briefly laying on the table between my legs, and then they were taken away. A nurse came back later and said I could see them in about an hour, that they had to go to the NICU. They were both doing great and would be fine, but one needed a little help getting enough oxygen and they both were showing irregular movement in their feet. I have no idea how far along in my pregnancy I was in my dream but apparently they were premature since the nurse said they weighed 3lbs 3oz and the other baby weighed 3lbs 13oz.

I woke up happy with my 3lb babies. It probably sounds crazy to most people that having 3lb babies would be good news, and I certainly am hoping that they are twice that size when they make their appearance. Considering how many cards I have stacked against me in this journey, the fact that in my dream these babies came out generally healthy and over 3lbs actually far outweighs any expectation I had at the beginning of this pregnancy.