Surgery Pre-Op

I had my pre-op appointment today for my laparoscopy. I kinda got weirded out and was on the verge of a case of the giggles in the waiting room. Most of the waiting room was filled with men without their women with them. They kept getting called back. And I knew it was because they were there to give their "samples". Being the twisted minded individual that I am, I had to email my BFF and tell her. (Pssst, BFF, yeah you. I told B about all the men in the waiting room this evening and he wondered why when he tries to give his sample on the trolley he gets arrested. I told him it was because he didn't have a prescription. You should totally make fun of him.)

Anyway...

The dr was running late, as usual. I talked to his fellow who proved to be worthless but apparently she and I have the same taste in literature. Talked to the dr for about 10 minutes. Then spoke with a nurse for about 15 minutes after that. Here's the plan.

- Tomorrow I have to get some blood work done (HSG to see if I am pregnant HAHA and a CBC which I don't know what it is but they are always running those on House) and a urinalysis (to check for UTI)
- Surgery is next Tuesday
- Monday I can have a light lunch and then nothing but clear liquids until midnight. Then nothing to eat or drink.
- Monday evening between 7-9pm I get to give myself an enema. This is seriously the worst part of all of this. Giving myself the shots for my injectables is going to be easy. Not really sure if I can do the enema thing but I guess I have to.
- I have a prescription for some sort of pill that I have to insert vaginally before I go to bed on Monday night that will soften and dilate my cervix.
- I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 am Tuesday morning which means I will have to leave here around 5ish. Hmm... no food+enema+vagina pill+no sleep = an already ticked off me. Oh, and add into that the no makeup thing and people might get hurt.

Apparently they aren't just going to do a laparoscopy like I thought. They are doing a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy and some sort of test to make sure that my tube is open, something like the HSG.I was told they are going to "scrape your uterus out". Yeah, not the words I really wanted to hear today. Or any day. I guess I am glad that they are just going to get everything over and done with. They will remove any endo they find. If there are any polyps in the uterus those can be removed. And they are going to make sure the tubes are open and I am all ready to go for infertility treatment.

After the surgery I should get my period. It will be pretty much a fake period that is induced by the surgery. I could bleed for 2-3 weeks (at which point I said, "Fantastic!"). Then after I get my first real period after that we can start "trying" which for us means injectables and IUI.

We are already on the no sex thing. Haven't had sex for... too long now. I had a sex dream last night so apparently I like sex more than I thought. I was told today, "Do not put anything in your vagina until your post-op appointment." I almost giggled some more. And it is totally unfair since they get to put things in my va-jay-jay.

Also, I have a prescription to get a renal ultrasound at some point after the surgery. The MRI I had done almost 4 years ago now had no mention of the kidneys. Long story, but I am almost positive I have two kidneys, although my dr said that even if I have two kidneys, I might not have two ducts leading from the kidneys to my bladder. As I mentioned before, the MRI does talk about my back being all screwed up and my RE recommended that I go see someone about that, I guess because I don't have enough issues going on with my health right now.

It has been a pretty crappy couple of weeks for me. I got a cold. Then I had a flare up of my back and could barely walk for about a week. That finally got better and I got the worst case of poison ivy I have ever had (all over my arms and face, and boy do I look smoking hot right now because of it). I am finally getting on the mend from that and I'll be headed in for surgery. Yay!

SIL Update

I got some more information about SIL's uterus. Thank goodness because there were a couple hours there where all I could think about was her uterus and that was just wrong. MIL still keeps referring to it as a BU, but there are a lot of doctors who for whatever reason refer to almost any uterine anomaly as a BU. SIL does have a septum though and the surgery she mentioned is to have it removed. I'm kind of worried because MIL and SIL don't really seem very proactive about this. They need to educate themselves, dammit. I get that talking to MIL about uteruses is hard. So glad we were talking about them via email because MIL is just so conservative. I swear their family policy is just not to talk about anything that might matter.

I was debating on whether to point them toward the MullerianAnomalies group. I haven't posted anything on there myself, but the time may come when we start TTC that I might have questions. I don't want MIL and SIL to read it and know what we are up to. (You know, because I am a part of their family now and I need to follow the family policy of not letting them in on anything that matters.) Mostly though, I wasn't sure how to tell them they need to get themselves educated. Particularly SIL who will be having the surgery. So, I emailed MIL tonight and told her they both should check out the group to get some valid information. I probably came off sounding really preachy but whatever. I would just hate for SIL to face infertility and miscarriages and such later on because she didn't do the research now.

I'm going to give it a few days and then maybe I will contact SIL directly. She and I don't really talk. No reason really other than the age difference and the two of us just being in different aspects of our lives. I don't even know if she knows that MIL told me about her uterus so it is kind of an odd first deep conversation to have with her.

As for an update on me, AF did show up two days late. And now I am pissed off because other than some really mild cramps right before arrival, I have been fine. None of that curled up thinking I am going to die stuff that inspired me to go off and get sliced up. Why am I having this surgery again?

All in the Family

My MIL (mother-in-law) has a bicornuate uterus (BU). I found this out almost 4 years ago when DH and I announced to MIL and FIL (father-in-law) that we were going to adopt and how I only had half a uterus. Although it has crossed my mind to pick MIL's brain about her BU, she is a very conservative woman and I just don't have the relationship with her that I would feel completely comfortable discussing her uterus and reproductive history with her. DH and his younger sister are 9 years apart. At some point between them, MIL had a miscarriage. I have no idea if it took her a long time to conceive but based on the number of years between DH and SIL (sister-in-law), I am thinking it did.

I emailed MIL yesterday and told her that I was having a laparoscopy done, hopefully to rid myself of this horrible AF related pain. (I have still managed to keep our plans to do infertility treatments secret from our families.) She emailed me back this evening and I was quite surprised at the content of the email.

Turns out that my SIL also has a BU. I have so many questions but really don't feel I can ask them yet. Mainly, how does SIL even know? Most people don't get diagnosed with (most) uterine anomalies until they are TTC and having problems or during c-sections. SIL is a unmarried, Christian woman who I can almost guarantee has never even had sex. According to MIL, SIL is not really into discussing her uterus outside of family so I probably shouldn't even know about it and MIL isn't even sure that SIL fiance knows anything about it. Follow that?

More peculiar, SIL is apparently going to have surgery soon. I have no clue what kind of surgery. From what I gather, people with BUs don't typically have surgery. Surgery can be done to join the two halves, but usually it isn't done because the surgery can weaken the uterus and cause issues with carrying a pregnancy. So, I emailed MIL back and asked if perhaps SIL actually has a BU with a septum - which would be a BU/SU (bicornuate uterus/septate uterus combined). I hope she gets back to me because geez... I don't really know why this is bothering me so much... I guess I just don't want SIL to have surgery that she might not need.

I guess there has been some debate on whether Mullerian Anomalies are hereditary. I don't know any of my biological relatives that have one. (Instead I am blessed with Fertile Myrtle as a sister.) Interesting that MIL and SIL both have one.

P.S. Technically, I'm late. By about 24 hours. There was a time in my life that I would be totally panicking at this situation. There was a time in my life when I would be overjoyed with the possibility of what this could mean. Then there is now when I realize this means nothing, other than the impending doom of pain that will come when AF does show up.

Getting Ready

I mentioned in my last post that I got a big packet of information from my dr concerning my upcoming laparoscopy. I started reading some of it today. There was a video on anesthesia that I was supposed to watch. Like the good patient that I am, I cracked open a beer and settled in to learn about anesthesia. I thoroughly enjoyed the parts where it told me I could die. I am not too keen on the part where it told me I can't wear makeup the day of surgery. I am not vain - hardly - but the thought of having to go out in public with absolutely no makeup on is almost as scary as the death warning. I need my foundation!

During the viewing, I suddenly had this flashback to last year. We sold our old house to a woman who is a anesthesiologist. She works in the same part of town where my surgery is being done. Sure, there are several hospitals in this part of town and she could work at any of them, but I am now convinced that that woman is going to be putting me under. I really hope she loves our old house and has no reason to take revenge on me.

I've been under general anesthesia twice in my life. Once when I was about 8 for a very odd cosmetic surgery and once when I was 19 to get my wisdom teeth out. Both went well. I didn't die. I did awake from one of the surgeries (not saying which one) with a very pissed off mother who had just discovered while I was out of it that I had gotten a new tattoo.

I meant to post a couple weeks ago when I decided that I have endometriosis. Having a laparoscopy is really the only way to diagnose it. However, I did some googling and as I was reading about what endometriosis was, I was going through the list of symptoms. As I read, I kept thing, "Check. Check. Check. Check." It was a light bulb moment and I just have this gut feeling that I have endometriosis. I am happy about it too. It is kind of like when I got diagnosed with my UU. All that time I kept thinking that there was something wrong, some bigger reason why we were reproducing. Then I found out I had a UU and I was relieved. It let me off the hook. I could stop thinking I wasn't getting pregnant because sucked at timing sex right or we were using the wrong lubrication or that I had created some horrible sin and God was punishing me. Instead, I was just born that way. There was a lot of grim information about endo with some hope sprinkled in there. Although I am not looking forward to going under the knife, I am looking forward to waking up and hearing that I have endometriosis and that it was treated. And hopefully that will mean some relief from this monthly hell of pain. Maybe it will even mean a future baby in my belly.

Nothing much to say

I haven't written anything fertility related because there really hasn't been much to say. Everything is set up for my laparoscopy at the beginning of October. I got a big packet of information in the mail from my RE the other day about it. I need to look at it more closely. I am supposed to watch a video. The one thing I did notice was that I am not supposed to have intercourse from the time of my period before my procedure until after my post-op appointment. That means from approximately September 20th until October 26th, no nookie for me. There was no explanation but I am assuming that they don't want me to be pregnant for the procedure and they don't want me to get any sort of infection post-surgery. I guess the office has forgotten the fact that I am infertile and all the sex in the world probably isn't going to get me pregnant. I am thinking maybe we can just use condoms and sneak in a little sex. DH said that for two people trying to have a baby, they sure tell us not to have sex a lot. (No sex for 3-5 days before a SA and no sex for 10 days before my sonoHSG.)

DH and I are supposed to be trying currently. It would be really nice to accidentally get pregnant this month, despite me being infertile. Then I wouldn't have to go through with this surgery. DH says he is on board but his actions say otherwise. I am bitter and angry at him and haven't said a word because I know it will only make things worse. I was debating about whether or not to even mention this. But, it is all part of the journey. So, unless having my man ejaculate on my arm is going to get me pregnant this month, looks like I better start looking forward to the intense period pain and the month of no sex and a surgical procedure. Of course, after my fertile window passed, DH had no issues getting his sperm where they were supposed to be.

I've been reading a lot of posts on a yahoo group for people with messed up uteruses. It is a place I feel very much at home. It is so sad to see posts from people who have had multiple loses. Part of me thinks, At least they can get pregnant. Mostly though it makes me glad I never have gotten pregnant and had to face a loss. Instead I just face loss every month when AF shows up. I was reading a girl's blog from high school whom I have recently reconnected with. I got to be bitter all over again. She mentioned something about being infertile. I don't know her whole story, other than it took her a little while (about a year) to get pregnant. She has two biological girls, no miscarriages, and has plans to have one more. And she still had the audacity to claim she suffers from infertility? Those poor ladies on the yahoo group with multiple losses have the right to claim infertility, or those people like myself who have tried for close to three years now with no biological children are infertile. Once you pop out a few kids after a short time trying and non-eventful pregnancies, you have to turn in your infertility card.