Rudimentary Horn Removal/Pregnancy Removal

Surgery is over. I'm recovering. It was a long, boring, and emotional day.

Not that I would really know what it felt like, but when I left the house for surgery, I kind of felt that I was going off to have a baby. Which in a totally twisted sense I was. I had packed an overnight bag because my RE said there was a decent chance I would have to stay overnight. I wasn't really feeling much of anything then: scared, nervous, or sad. I was just thirsty since I couldn't have anything to drink since after midnight.

I was supposed to get there around 10:30 and we got there a little after 10. I got registered and then waited. And waited some more. Some older lady was sitting near us with her husband and her 40-somethings daughter. I commented on something the older lady said. Shortly after that, she and her husband headed off to pre-op and the daughter decided to start up a very lengthy conversation with me. She just kept going on and on and I just let her go because it was far more entertaining to hear her ramble on than it would have been to just sit there. She told me all about her mom's surgery and her family dynamics and her kids. I nodded and smiled and did my best to hide my rolling eyes. She asked me what I was there for, you know, because it is perfectly okay to ask strangers in the waiting room for their medical history. I said something about having female issues and needing some tissue in my abdomen removed. Somehow the conversation moved on to childbirth and I said I never saw either of my kids born since they were adopted. Then she started going on and on about her sister going through infertility treatment and how she had the opposite problem and was a "fertile myrtle" and just thought about getting pregnant and she was. I thought about slapping her at that point but instead chose to turn to DH and give a very obvious eye roll. Seriously?? I just told this woman I have two adopted kids and female problems I'm having surgery on and all she can say is how she gets knocked up so easily. Thankfully right after that a nurse came out and told her she could join her mom in pre-op.

It was almost 11:30 when I finally got to go back to pre-op. I gave a urine sample and got undressed. Right after that someone came in to give me an IV. Then we waited some more. There are little TVs in the pre-op room. Hooray for that! We watched TV for about 2 hours while we waited some more. At some point the anesthesiologist came in to go over some things. He was kind of funny. Then my RE came in. He said that I might have some shoulder pain if they did things laparascopically and pumped me up with air. The shoulder pain was one of the worst things post-surgery. That and the sore throat I had from the tube down my throat. And the busted lip I got from the tube down my throat. I asked my RE how long I should suspect to wait until I got AF again. He said my HCG levels will have to drop way down but I should definitely get my period in at least 4 weeks. I kept trying to focus on the future and not what was presently going on and asked him when we could start trying again. He said as soon as my period shows up we can try again since they weren't messing around with anything in my actual uterus. We will see what happens but I think I might give it an extra month just to make sure my hormones are in check and my body is functioning normally. I was pretty much fine with everything that was going on up to that point. DH asked him how long surgery would take and he said it would probably be 2-3 hours. My RE kept saying stuff about staying overnight like it was a likely thing, which was not the impressions I originally got. Then he went on to tell DH that if he was going to go to the cafeteria to get some food, to bring it right back to the waiting room and eat there because if something came up or there was an emergency he wanted to tell him right away and wouldn't be able to find him if he was somewhere else in the hospital. Emergency?? Something came up?? I didn't realize that was a possibility. I mean, I know that it is always a possibility but never a big enough possibility that my RE needs to tell DH to make sure he sticks around.

I think someone else from anesthesia came in. She had to slow down my IV drip because I had been waiting for so long that it was almost empty. She was only the second person all day that asked me what I was allergic to and what happened when I took it. I was a little disappointed that that wasn't the most asked question this time around. The most asked question was, "What are you having surgery for today?" I had no clue how to answer that one. I told some people that I was having my rudimentary horn removed, which I am sure mostly confused them. I told at least one person I had an ectopic pregnancy, because essentially that is what it is, although more extensive since they were planning on removing a big chunk of me and not just the pregnancy. I told someone else I have having a piece of my uterus removed. I figured it didn't really matter too much what I said. My RE was the one leading the surgery and he knew what he was doing.

Around 1:30, someone from anesthesia came in to take me to the OR. I gave hugs and kisses to DH and choked up a little. They shot me up with some drugs to relax me on the ride down to the OR. It didn't make me feel nearly as drunk and loopy as it did last time and I was a little disappointed. I remember being in the OR much better this time. I was really amazed by just how many huge lights they have in there. I don't remember being moved from the gurney thing to the operating table but they must have moved me or had me slide over myself. Then they were strapping my arms down. Someone put an oxygen mask on my face which made it really hard to breathe. They took it off. Put it back on and it was stabbing me in the eye. The funny anesthesiologist said something about giving me medicine through the oxygen mask and then I was in the recovery area.

I was in the worst pain I had ever been in. There was a nurse near me and I wanted to tell her to give me drugs but I hurt so bad I couldn't even speak. I wiggled my toes to make sure no one accidentally amputated my legs. They hadn't. I got myself a little orientated since I had just been in there 3 months ago and located a clock. It was 3:17. I figured that was good news since the surgery apparently didn't take that long. About 10 minutes passed and at last the nurse asked me on a scale of 1-10, what was my level of pain. I said, "A lot." She shot me up with something in my IV. A couple minutes later she came over with what she said was percocet. (I had asked my RE to prescribe that for me again since it worked well last time.) The nurse said that when the IV meds started wearing off, the percocet should start setting in. I felt much better pretty quickly. I felt my belly and could feel three bandages. My RE had hoped to be able to do everything through one incision in my belly button but said he might have to make a larger incision in my side (a laparotomy?). Turns out I have four incisions this time (belly button, bikini line right below my bellybutton, and one on each side by my hips). I asked the nurse if I would be going home that day. She said I was. Then I spent the rest of my time in phase 1 recovery crying. Often sobbing. It was over. All these years of trying to have a baby or at least not trying to prevent it. It finally happened and it was gone. I walked in the hospital that morning pregnant, carrying this tiny little growing person inside me and then I was alone. The nurse came around several times but never spoke to me or asked me if I was okay. I was glad.

Finally the nurse said it was time to move to phase 2 recovery. I stopped to pee but was unsuccessful. The nurse told me to pull this string when I was done so she could come help me. I pulled the shit out of that string but no one came. I washed my hands and still nothing. So, I started to venture out to the hall and finally she arrived. She took me to a room in phase 2 recovery with a recliner and got that all set up for me. (Last time they just sat me in the chair and left. I had to yell at them to recline my chair since having my legs dangling there were killing my stomach.) She brought me some cran-grape juice on crushed ice which was the most delicious thing ever. It was like a slushy. She left and I cried. Then DH walked in and asked me what was wrong. Then I really really cried and told him I was sad. We held hands for a bit. He told me how much he loves me and how thankful he is for me and our two boys. I've known for years how much it sucks to have my screwed up uterus but I've also been thankful for it too. Without it I wouldn't have my two boys and I would never trade them for a perfect uterus. It was nice to hear him say that too. DH said we would try again, we would get it right, and he would tell his swimmers to tone it down a notch and not go swimming marathons next time and instead stick to their designated area.

My RE talked to DH after my surgery. DH said that he came out to talk to him at 3:00, so I was probably only actually in surgery for a little over an hour. The RE said everything went fine, they did it all laparascopically, and I could go home. The horn was removed and they took the tube too. They did find a couple more spots of endometriosis and removed that as well. There was nothing else to report and he would see me at my post-op appointment in a couple weeks.

A nurse came in to ask me if I wanted a second vicoden. I said I thought I was supposed to have percocet. She said what they gave me in phase 1 recovery was vicoden too and my prescription was for vicoden and they prefer to prescribe that because it is easier on your belly. So, I took a second vicoden. I emailed a couple friends that knew what was going on to let them know that the surgery was over. A few minutes later I regretted taking that second vicoden. I got really hot, nauseous, tired, loopy, and felt downright awful. Silly me for forgetting that sometimes just because a little bit of narcotics is good, a lot of narcotics doesn't necessarily mean better. I got some more juice. I decided to try some graham crackers. I ate some ice. An hour went by and a nurse came in to see if I was leaving any time soon. I told her that the second vicoden I took made me feel awful. She went on about how I would feel so much better if I just went home to my own bed. Since I felt like crap and just lost my baby and really didn't care anymore I said, "Oh, so you are just trying to kick me out?" She was like, "Ah... no..." Then she left. I really did start feeling a whole lot better at that point so DH helped get me dressed. Someone came with a wheelchair to take me down to the car and on the way I gave the nurse that was trying to kick me out the stink eye.

I dozed on and off and felt like throwing up a good bit of the ride home. I peed for the first time since surgery when I got home. Peeing has been quite an issue. I recall after my last surgery it was too. I think the catheter really screws up my bladder. I have to go like every 1-3 hours and I can't tell if I am empty and it isn't much more than a trickle. The kids were at my parents' when I first got here but they pulled in just after we did. Our master bedroom is right off the family room so DH set up a gate so they could say hi and see me. I had told them that I would come home from the dr with a big bellyache and go right to bed. DS1 said that he would help me get better by bringing me drinks and snacks and books to read and help me get out of bed. So right after he said hello he kept begging to help me by bringing me a book. DH let him into the room and he brought me a book. He gave me gentle hugs and kisses and couldn't wait to see my boo boos on my belly. Then DS2 brought me a book to read, gave hugs and kisses, and wanted to see my boo boos. They went back to the other side of the gate. DS2 got another book and said he was going to "read" it to me. He held the book up so I could see and said, "Once upon a time..." and then started telling me about the pictures in the book. It was totally sweet and most all of my sadness vanished in that moment. Last night DH brought my pup in to see me which was wonderful too. She just turned a year old and is 65 lbs of enthusiasm. But dogs know. She hung out quietly next to the bed so we could enjoy each other's company and knew not to disturb my belly.

And so it is over. On to the next chapter. I feel way better (physically) after this surgery than I did after my lap/hyst. I didn't have to do the bowel prep this time. Also, there are just incisions in my belly and they didn't have to stick things up my va-jay-jay this time, so I am sure that helps. I have had zero pain from the gas they put in my belly, which makes me wonder if they even put it in there. That was one of the worst parts before since it hurt to breathe. I have no sore throat and no busted up lip from the tubes they put down my throat. I can move my legs and even put them straight out in front of me without it killing my stomach. I can even twist ever so slightly to each side. Last time for the first 48 hours I was pretty much stuck in one position which killed my back. I haven't tried to get in and out of bed by myself yet. DH has to pull me out and lift up my legs to get me back in. He slept on the couch last night. I'd call for him every 1-3 hours to help me get up to pee. Poor guy, but so fantastic to me. I even ate breakfast in the dining room this morning. DS1 was so excited because I asked him to get breakfast for me. He loves to help. He brought me a fruit bar and a can of mixed fruit.

I am feeling way better emotionally today too. I can almost hardly wait to get my period and this time know I am not bleeding internally while having it and hopefully I will have normal period pain instead of feeling like something is going to burst within me. That stupid horn that has brought me nothing but pain both physically and emotionally is gone from me forever. On to just being a normal person with half a uterus!

Cycle 1, CD 4

Turns out I really suck at giving myself injections. Last night was the first one. I reviewed some of the literature my RE gave me during the day and was all ready. I have to give myself the injection at the same time every day, sometime between the hours of 5-7pm. I picked 6:45. DH doesn't even want to look at the needle so I am on my own. I wasn't really nervous or anything last night. Oddly, more excited. Not so much excited that we are really truly starting infertility treatments, more just excited to get to try something new and have something else that I can respond to with, "Yeah, I've done that."

It was easy. I barely felt the needle go in. I injected. I waited the 5 seconds like it said I should. All done. I took my time to make sure I was doing it all right. I apparently took so long that DH thought I passed out and was thinking about coming to check on me. The area that I injected looked a little purple almost immediately. I didn't think about it until today but I am thinking that maybe I needed to apply pressure to the area for much longer than I did. Instead, I ended up with this fabulous war wound.



How attractive is that? I made sure when DH took the picture that he included one of my lap scars to get the full effect. (It takes a REALLY long time for scars to fade on me so I am sure on a normal person the lap scar wouldn't be that visible by now.)

I did some more checking out of the literature from my RE today. Nothing in there said anything about alternating sides in which the injection is given. So tonight I opted to inject closer to my right ovary again. I was really excited tonight about stabbing myself with a needle. I had done it before. I am a seasoned shot giver (even if I do suck at it). Plus, I had gotten over the whole giving myself a shot is weird thing and was excited thinking that this shot might help me get pregnant. So I aimed. I stabbed. And this time it hurt a whole lot more than last time. Not that it really hurt that bad, just more than last night. I applied lots of pressure this time to the injection site and so far all I have is a red spot. Hopefully no more war wounds because if I have to do this every day for up to 12 days and I end up with a bruise like last time, I am going to have a really nasty tummy.

Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy

Yesterday was the big day. After I got up and moving my cervix was feeling better. Plus I was just distracted with everything else going on that I wasn't just concentrating on my painful cervix.

My mom showed up to watch the kids. Since my appointment got moved until later, I was able to get the kids up and settled in for breakfast before leaving. I had told them that I had to go to the dr because I had a bellyache. I had warned them that when I got home I was just going to be in bed and take a nap. DS1 told me I should take lots of naps. Mostly the kids were excited that they were going to get to ride in their grandmother's car. My mom told me today that DS1 was worried about me and kept asking her how I was doing and if I would be home soon.

DH and I left around 7:50, which was really early to get us there on time. We got stuck in lots of rush hour traffic so we ended up getting there around 9:20, 10 minutes before we had to be there. Then there was lots of waiting. I got signed in and they got my ID checked and insurance info scanned. I was given a bracelet with my name and birth date on it. Just about everyone I crossed paths with looked at my bracelet, asked me to spell my complete name and tell them my birth date. I had to fill out a anesthesia form, on which I wrote I was allergic to penicillin and amoxicillin and that those medications give me hives. DH was given a pager so they could page him when I was done or they needed to give him any information. He was also given my ID number that he could look up on a monitor in the "support person" waiting room to see where I was in the process the entire time. I thought that was pretty cool. We had to wait in that area for maybe another 10 minutes. I took that time to check out this totally dorky man that was there holding a book called "Marine Chemistry". It was really fitting to his dorkiness. I'm allowed to say that because I am a dork too.

Then we got called back to this prep area. I got assigned to this three walled cubical that had a curtain for the fourth wall. I was told to take off all my clothes except my socks, put on a robe with the ties up the back. I was also given a jacket sort of thing and a "warm" blanket that wasn't really that warm. I went to pee and was told to pee in a cup just in case they needed a urine sample. The nurse asked me if I had any allergies and I told her about the penicillin and amoxicillin. She asked what happened when I took them and I told her about the hives. Then she gave me a red allergy bracelet. There was a little TV in the room so DH and I started watching that. We ended up watching "Dinosaur Train", which is a cartoon that my kids love since there was nothing on. It was a silly thing to do but also relaxing. Not that I needed much relaxing. I was oddly very relaxed. Just hanging out and talking with DH, something we don't usually get to do with the kids. Around 10:00, several people came in. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me several questions, including what I was allergic to and what happened when I was exposed. She also asked me lots of questions about my mouth and teeth and checked out my mouth and throat. Meanwhile, some nurse put an IV in my hand. I took a look at DH and he looked kind of pale so I asked him if he was okay. He is not a big fan of needles and blood but he said he was fine.

They left and we watched some "Let's Make a Deal". Some other nurse came in at some point and put these things on my legs that were supposed to help with circulation during surgery. Someone else came in and asked me what I was allergic to and what happened when I was exposed. Then my dr came in and went over with me yet again what they were going to do during surgery. I asked him if they were going to take pictures and if I could see them at my followup appointment. DH thought I was weird. I told the dr it was only fair since he got to see my uterus, that I should get to see my uterus too. He said that was a very valid point and would be happy to share the photos with me. He said that they would probably be ready for me in about 20-30 minutes. DH and I started watching some "Price is Right". At some point this student doctor popped in to introduce herself and tell me that she would be in the OR observing. She was way too perky and after she left I told DH that I hope she kept her enthusiasm out of the operating room. Then in came my dr's fellow, a nurse, and a student that was learning from the anesthesiologist. I suddenly got really nervous, thinking that this was it. Turns out it wasn't it. The fellow told me again what they were going to do during the surgery and asked me what I was allergic to and what happens when I get penicillin and amoxicillin. The student anesthesiologist said that they were going to give me a sedative before they wheeled me down to the OR to relax me, although it didn't appear that I really even needed one. The she asked about my teeth and looked in my throat again. Then the fellow said she was going to make sure that the OR was ready and then would be back.

DH and I kept joking about who at the hospital was sleeping with who, because you know real life is just like Grey's Anatomy.

DH gave me a hug and a kiss. Soon the student anesthesiologist came back with some man named Matt who people had kept mentioning while in the room. They started messing with my IV and I felt more relaxed so I figured they had given me the sedative. The Matt guy checked out my throat and asked me about my teeth again. He also asked me about my allergies. I was just hanging out there all relaxed while they told DH where he could find the cafeteria. I was thinking that they better hurry up because I really wanted to run out of that room and find the cafeteria myself. I was starving and suddenly craving a greasy hamburger. Then Matt said, "Okay, we are going to give you the sedative now." Oops, I guess I was just imagining that I was relaxed. They gave me something in my IV and DH was standing at the corner of the room as they started to wheel me out. I turned the corner and he was gone, just vanished. I thought, "Wheeee!!! These drugs are fun!!" They took me into the OR and I had to move from my bed onto the operating table. I was checking out the lights on the ceiling and they were strapping my arms down. They were having some sort of problem getting my left arm situated. I know I spoke at some point but I have no idea what I said. (EDIT: I just remember I asked them why it was so cold in there and someone said they keep it cold since the doctors and nurses are wearing so many clothes in the OR.) I think someone said they were going to put me under.

Then I was coughing. It hurt a little. I was starting to wake up as they pushed me into position in a different room. I could see a clock on a wall. It took me a minute to focus on it and another to figure out what it meant since it was in military time. It was 1:10. I was in a large room that had spots for about 12 beds and each bed could be sectioned off by curtains, although none of the curtains were drawn. There was a computer next to my bed and about 6 people were crowded around it going on about how it wouldn't work. I had to pee REALLY bad. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell someone that when all these people just kept talking about the computer. I had the song "Switchblade" (by Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers) stuck in my head. I had an oxygen mask on. My lip felt like it was all busted up. I felt to make sure I had both legs and arms because I wanted to make sure they didn't do the wrong surgery, like one in which they would amputate my limbs. I still really had to pee. I thought maybe I would just go ahead and pee the bed because I was in a hospital and people do stuff like that all the time so no one would probably think twice about it. A nurse came over and asked me from 1-10 what my pain level was. I said 6, which was probably a rather conservative guess. She said she would give me some pain medicine. I told her I really had to go to the bathroom. She said she could give me a bedpan. She drew the curtains and stuck a bedpan under me. It hurt my belly to lift my hips. I tried really hard to pee. It wasn't working at all and just made me realize how much my vaginal area was burning. The nurse came back a few minutes later and asked me how I was doing. I said no success yet. She left again and eventually I decided that maybe my crotch just hurt and I didn't actually have to pee, much like happens when I have an UTI. She came back later and I told her I didn't think it was going to happen. She took my bedpan and opened my curtains. The clock on the wall said 13:45. I thought I had only been there for about 5 minutes but it had been at least 35. The nurse asked about my pain again. I said I felt better for a little bit but the pain was back up to a 6 again. She said the medication wears off quick and she would give me more. She took my oxygen mask off and I found it kind of hard to breathe at first. I felt my lip again and it was most certainly busted. My throat was sore too. I decided they must have caught my lip between my teeth and the breathing tube they inserted during surgery. They took off the little leg circulatory things and that made me sad because they were so comfy and had been giving me a nice leg massage. Every time I would cough, it would hurt my stomach and would taste like plastic. Then I decided I felt perfectly fine and was just bored. I got nosy and started checking out all the other recovering patients. From where I was situated, I could see across a hall another area where patients were recovering. Several nurses at the desk were trying to figure out if I ever got my IV antibiotics or not. (Obviously they weren't talking about penicillin or amoxicillin since by that point everyone in the entire county knew I got hives if I took those.) I am not sure they ever figured out for sure if I got my antibiotics but I think they decided I got them but someone forgot to mark it. They brought some lady into the phase 1 recovery area (by then I had decided that this is where I was) and they were telling her to cough and clear her lungs. I started wondering if maybe when I was coughing when I first woke up if it was because someone told me to do it. I soon ran out of things to entertain myself with while just sitting there slightly propped up in bed. I couldn't remember the second verse to "Switchblade" which was annoying me. I wished I had my phone with me so I could play some games or something. Then I heard some of the nurses on the phone talking about how they didn't have any room for anymore people in the area. I was just hanging out minding my own business when a nurse came over and shoved her hand right up in my crotch. I felt around a bit and realized she stuck a pad up there. Then she was sticking something around my feet. My curtain was still open and some guy was being wheeled through the hallway across from me watching all of this from a great angle. I only partly cared. The nurse said something about pulling this up and I realized the thing she put around my feet where these lacy elastic underwear. I couldn't get them up over my left butt cheek very well because my left hand had a large IV tube stuck in it. It was around that point that I realized that my left boob was nearly hanging out of the blanket that was on me. The nurses finally decided to draw my curtains at that point to get my robe snapped up and the back of it tied. Which was good you know, because that is the part I needed privacy for, not the part where they were putting pads in my crotch and putting underwear on me. A nurse helped pull me up to a sitting position to tie the back of my robe and then I was up and walking. We stopped at a bathroom and she told me to try to go. She put a toilet seat cover on the toilet and told me to pull the string on the wall when I was done. She didn't remove the center part of the toilet seat cover. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do that and then realized that there was no way I was going to be able to bend over or figure out how to get the stupid toilet seat cover working right so I just squatted and peed on the damn thing. I figured I was in a hospital and all drugged up so even if I just peed on the floor, I am sure that would have been fine. It hurt like hell to pee and I barely peed at all. I wasn't sure if that was because I really didn't have to pee or if I just willed myself out of peeing because it hurt like hell. The nurse walked in on me while I was trying to get my massive pad back in place and those fancy underwear back up. She left and then I thought I should probably wash my hands but the sink was way over there and the string I was supposed to pull was right next to me. I pulled the string. She came in and walked me over to wash my hands. I told her I didn't pee much and that it hurt and she said they probably put a catheter in me during surgery. Ahh... that makes sense. That is why I felt like I had a UTI and had to pee so bad but couldn't. Then we headed down a hall into the phase 2 recovery area. She asked me what I wanted to start with to drink and I jumped at ginger ale which I regretted because I didn't realize they had cranberry juice. I started to get some shoulder pain in my left shoulder. When they do the surgery, they pump your abdominal cavity up with carbon dioxide so they can see in there. The gas presses on your diaphragm which is connected to a nerve in your shoulders and gives you this horrible stabbing/pinching pain on the top of your shoulders. I have broken my left collarbone a couple times and it kinda felt like how my collarbone feels sometimes when the weather gets really damp. The nurse helped me into this large chair. I had passed several other patients in their little cubicles in these large chairs and they were all reclining. My nurse didn't recline mine. She just gave me ginger ale and left. My feet weren't even touching the floor which is normal because I am so short. I was really uncomfortable. I was right across from the nurse's desk and there were three nurses there. I had to yell at them several times before someone came over. I asked to recline. Then they were all, "Oh, do you have family here? I could get them for you." Yeah, gee thanks. Don't do your job or anything. I sat there probably another 5-10 minutes before DH showed up. I asked him what he had been up to. He said he watched some episodes of "The Office" and got a Stromboli in the cafeteria. I told him everything that I remembered. It was kind of hard to talk because my chest was full of phlegm but it hurt too bad to cough and clear it. Plus, my busted lip and throat hurt.

I asked him if my doctor had come out to talk to him. It didn't even occur to me to ask what my diagnosis was until then. He kind of hesitated and I asked if it was really that bad. But really, not sure if there was anything that he could have told me at that point that would have really bothered me. He said no and kinda started to chuckle. He said, "You have a horn!" I said, "I knew it!" I also had a small bit of endometriosis that was removed.

Back in 2006 when I was diagnosed with a UU, I had an MRI done. The report said that I had a right UU with no evidence of a rudimentary horn. I don't know if I ever really believed that. Even before I found out about the UU, I always had pressure on my left side, the side where I am not supposed to have anything. Ever since the pain started getting really bad, the pain is ALWAYS on the left side. After I read about endometriosis I thought that maybe I just had endometriosis on the left side that had spawned from uterine stem cells that never formed.

When the uterus is formed during fetal development, it starts out in two halves that mesh together to form a symmetrical uterus. With a UU, one half never forms or forms incorrectly and therefore the two halves can't mesh. If there is no second half at all, then you have a UU with no rudimentary horn. This is what I thought I had and in my opinion it is the best of the UU diagnoses because you don't have to worry about the horn. If the second half of the uterus starts to form but is not connected to the main uterine cavity (the part that outlets through the cervix) then you have a rudimentary horn. You can have a non-communicating rudimentary horn which is a pretty good thing because it mostly just sits there and does nothing. Or you can have a communicating rudimentary horn which can be a problem. It responds to hormonal fluctuations during your cycle and often has a endometrial lining. During menstruation, there is no outlet for the lining to bleed out and you are left with retrograde bleeding that can be painful as it has to either flow up the fallopian tube or else it just has to be reabsorbed by the horn if there is no fallopian tube attached. Rudimentary horns can cause problems with pregnancy as well. Even though they are not attached to the cervix, it is possible for the sperm to swim up the uterus, out the fallopian tube, cross over the abdominal cavity, swim down the fallopian tube to the rudimentary horn, fertilize an egg, and implant in the rudimentary horn. (Those are some pretty determined sperm.) If not discovered soon enough, the pregnancy will erupt the rudimentary horn and emergency surgery is needed. If discovered soon enough, it must be terminated.

DH said that my dr only mentioned that I had one fallopian tube but I will find out for sure at my followup appointment. The dr said that my rudimentary horn was very small and he didn't believe it had an endometrial lining. If after a couple months I am still having pain, they will know that it is not from the endometriosis (which was removed) but from the rudimentary horn, and I will have to have the horn removed. I have a feeling that this might be in my future based on the fact that all my pain seems to be coming from that left side. They did a dye test during the procedure too and my tube that connects to my main uterine cavity is open.

I ran out of things to say and asked him for my iPhone. I emailed two of my friends and let them know I didn't die. It was probably a really ridiculous thing to be doing but I felt I had spent too much of the day just doing nothing already. A nurse came to give me my discharge papers. One part said no sex until I was cleared by my dr and another part said that I can have sexual intercourse. I told her she better cross that second part out so my husband didn't get any crazy ideas. Then I was told to get dressed and put my feet down when I was ready. DH got me dressed. He opened the curtain and got the chair to sit up straight. I ended up moving to the visitor chair in the room since it was lower and I could get my feet to touch the ground. We waited. Finally DH told someone that we were ready. She told him where to move his car and said that someone would bring me down shortly. Then I waited. And waited. And did some more waiting. The nurses kept calling people to see if someone could take patients out for discharge. Eventually someone showed up. Then there was an argument whether she was going to take me or take someone else. Meanwhile, I had a little anxiety attack. It was either because I realized I was going home and wasn't going to have trained medical staff looking after me that caused me to feel like I was going to throw up and get all hot and sweaty and dizzy. Or else I felt like I was going to throw up and realized there was nowhere for me to throw up and all the nurses were going to watch me throw up and that caused me to get hot and sweaty and dizzy. Thankfully that passed quickly and I got selected to be the patient that left first. So this woman got me in a wheelchair and I was feeling like I suddenly turned into John Locke and needed to shout, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" We got out to the elevators and I was feeling pretty doped up and found myself just staring at this guy simply because he was in my line of sight. A minute later I realized he had a deformed arm and he probably thought I was staring down his deformed arm and I felt bad. We got down to our floor and the lady pushing my wheelchair said, "Man, my whole body hurts." I tried really hard not to say anything but... Come on! Her body hurts?? Are you serious?? Maybe I should have gotten out of the wheelchair right then and started pushing her! I figured I had every right so I said, "You sooo don't have room to talk. I just had abdominal surgery!" Thankfully we were on floor zero so it wasn't like she could easily find a flight of stairs to push me down. Instead she took me out to the car and kept talking about how she thinks she is coming down with something. You know, just what I want to hear as she is breathing all over my susceptible to illness body.

Nothing that exciting about the trip home. We got stuck in rush hour traffic again. I ate snacks DH had packed the whole way home. I drank some water. I craved real food but knew I should take it slow. I called my mom to tell her that we would be home shortly. We stopped at the drug store so DH could drop off my prescription for my pain meds. While he went in I tried to check out my incisions. I could tell there was a bandage on my bellybutton. My right side hurt a lot but really didn't have much pain on my left. I discovered a bandage on the right side. I have one on the left side too but didn't find that one until late last night. So, three little incisions. I called my mom just before we pulled in at the house. I have a 10 month old, 55 lb puppy that I knew would be way too excited to see me. She does pretty well but still jumps on people when greeting them sometimes and I couldn't take that. My mom put the pup in the laundry room. I guess she told the kids that they couldn't hug me as soon as I came in because of my bellyache and that made DS1 cry. When I came in, both kids were in their seats at the dinner table so that worked out well. I stopped and kissed their hands and talked for a few minutes before I went off to get set up in bed. My bedroom is right off the main family room of the house so that is nice to not be far away. DH set up a baby gate so the pup couldn't get in. She cried. DH helped me into bed and got me some chips and then went off to eat some pizza with the kids and my mom. It was about that time that I started yelling that someone should really go pick up my Percocet really soon. The pain was setting in and I was miserable. My mom left to get that. I kept drinking a lot since I hadn't drank anything all day. That made me have to pee every hour. Poor DH had to help me in and out of bed each time. My Percocet arrived and I popped two of those puppies down right away. The pain was still pretty horrible but I didn't care so much anymore. The kids talked to me some from over the gate. When it was time for them to go to bed, they came over to the side of my bed and gave me hugs and kisses and tucked me in. DS2 wanted to turn my music on, since I always turn his music on for him when I put him to bed. Too cute.

We were trying to figure out a way that I could get DH's attention if I needed him. I asked him if we had a fog horn. We didn't. I suggested using the baby monitor. Thankfully DH agreed to that since my next idea was that he could wear the shock collar we have for the dog and I could hang onto the remote...

I really wasn't all that tired. I read some from my magazine. DH kept track of when I was due for more meds last night and I counted down the minutes. The pain really sucked but with the Percocet, it was quite tolerable. Going pee got less painful each time. After the kids went to bed, DH brought the pup in to see me. She did awesome. Animals just know when you aren't feeling well I guess. She is a big on cuddling and I know she was dieing to get up in bed with me and flop herself on my chest for some cuddles. But she sat nicely on the floor, doing her best to contain all her excitement. Even when I got up to pee, she stood out of the way so I could walk gingerly past her. She only tried to get on the bed once.

DH decided he would sleep on the couch in the room next to our bedroom. He took the pup's bed out there too. I took a Percocet around 10:30. I figured I would try to lie on my side since that is normally how I sleep. That wasn't working out. Gravity was pulling my floppy belly off in one direction and my belly is much happier in a more centered position. I got set up with a pillow under my head, two under my knees, and one on each side of me. I got up around midnight to pee. I decided to risk it myself and made it out of bed. I was going to take a Motrin at that point but realized I needed to take it with food and didn't want to have to go out to the kitchen. So, I decided I didn't need any meds. I got myself back into bed. I was having a hard time breathing because with each breath, my diaphragm would move and my right shoulder would have this horrible stabbing pain in it. I tried calling for DH over the monitor. No response. I tried calling for the pup to get DH out of bed. That worked. More Percocet and some fig newtons and back to sleep I went. I got up at 4 and decided I needed to pee and I wanted another Percocet. I got out of bed myself, peed, and went to get a banana to go with my drugs. I woke up DH and he yelled at me for getting out of bed myself. DH woke me up at 7:30 for another banana and Percocet. After that I kept half waking up thinking I would get up and then would ultimately decide the Percocet was awesome and go back to sleep. I got up around 10:30 this morning.

Today has been okay. I probably could have moved to the couch by this evening but I am milking it and staying in bed. My back is starting to hurt some from laying here most of the day. I played cars in bed with the kids for a little bit. DS2 keeps telling me he loves me which he NEVER says. That makes this all worth it. I did eat dinner with the family tonight. (My mom made us a lasagna.) DS1 spotted me trying to get out of bed for dinner and asked if I needed help. He pulled me out of bed which was really cute. I even let the pup get up in bed with me for a little bit this afternoon. I built a barricade up around my belly and she was mostly happy to lay along my legs. I'm slowly feeling better. The shoulder pain is just about gone, or else the drugs are taking care of it. My last Percocet was 6 hours ago. I took a Motrin about an hour ago. My busted lip is still a little sore. My throat is just about back to normal. I barely bled at all yesterday and none today. I'm going to try to take a shower in a little bit so I'll have to take my bandages off my belly. I guess that is about it. It sucks but really is not that bad. I love Percocet.

Preparations

My laparascopy is today. So, what am I doing blogging? Trying to keep my mind off the pain. Yes, pain. Not anxiety of surgery, the pain I am in from the surgery prep. Sunday I spent cleaning and doing all those chores that I knew would need done over the next week but I knew DH wouldn't do. I got everything ready for my mom to watch the kids today. I got meals planned so people could eat this week since DH doesn't do much cooking. I tried to remind myself that life will go on and my household will still function even if I don't get out of bed for a few days. I had lunch yesterday and then nothing but clear liquids after that. I thought I would be half dead by the evening because I never do well when I don't get a chance to eat something regularly. The massive amounts of jello, chicken broth, ginger ale, and Italian ice kept me going strong.

I was at the park yesterday with my kids and other moms. One of the moms knew I was having the surgery. She had it done about 3 weeks ago, for the second time. Another friend of mine heard us talking about it. That woman has had it done 3-4 times. They told me all about their experiences. Usually I prefer to not be so educated about stuff like this because then I go into it picturing what they are going to do and just dreading it, instead of just going along for the ride and not over thinking it. However, I came away from talking to those ladies yesterday feeling way more at ease about everything.

My surgery was scheduled for 8:30, which meant I was supposed to be at the hospital around 6:30, so we were planning on leaving home around 5. I got a call yesterday that I don't have to be there until 9:30. The good part was that I didn't need to get up so early this morning. The bad news is that it is longer that I have to wait and go without drinking or eating anything.

Then it was bowel prep time. I figured that part was going to be the worst thing ever. There was a time a few minutes before I was going to do it that I was trying to think of a way out of it. I mean, I could just tell my doctor that I did it but not actually do it..? And now I will type the words I never thought I would ever type. Giving yourself an enema is really not that bad. After that was done and over with I settled in to watch some tv with DH. At bedtime I had to insert this pill vaginally that was supposed to soften my cervix to make it easier for them to stick things up there today. (Yay!) It is an off label use of the medication and I thought it was really funny that one of the warnings on the label said to make sure you take the medication with food or milk. DH said we had bananas... I went to bed and went to sleep. All was well.

I woke up at 2:30 to pee. I had some cramps, I am guessing because my cervix has been hard at work softening. I was able to go back to sleep but I didn't sleep very well because I just kept dreaming about the cramping and burning in my body. I woke up at 5:30 and spent the next hour in rather horrible pain. I couldn't get comfortable. My belly was all crampy, but not like waves of cramps, more like a constant pain of a cramp. It felt kind of like a gas cramp where you know that any second you are going to break wind and the pain will go away, only I didn't have any gas and there was no wind breaking and no going away of the pain. I tried to do some breathing exercises just to get my mind off the pain. I couldn't think about breathing though because my mind kept going back to the pain. In any other situation I would have popped a Tylenol or something and pretty soon it would be almost gone. But, I am not allowed to do that on the day of a surgery. So I endured. Eventually I settled on singing some of my favorite songs in my head. Sounds lame? Not at all when it was keeping me nearly completely distracted from my cervix. My alarm went off at 6:30 and I still hadn't gone back to sleep.

I'm feeling slightly better now that I am moving a little... that is if sitting on the couch to blog counts as moving. I still have to get dressed, walk the dog, and get a few things ready for the kids and my mom today. Then we will be out of here around 8. Good luck to me!

Surgery Pre-Op

I had my pre-op appointment today for my laparoscopy. I kinda got weirded out and was on the verge of a case of the giggles in the waiting room. Most of the waiting room was filled with men without their women with them. They kept getting called back. And I knew it was because they were there to give their "samples". Being the twisted minded individual that I am, I had to email my BFF and tell her. (Pssst, BFF, yeah you. I told B about all the men in the waiting room this evening and he wondered why when he tries to give his sample on the trolley he gets arrested. I told him it was because he didn't have a prescription. You should totally make fun of him.)

Anyway...

The dr was running late, as usual. I talked to his fellow who proved to be worthless but apparently she and I have the same taste in literature. Talked to the dr for about 10 minutes. Then spoke with a nurse for about 15 minutes after that. Here's the plan.

- Tomorrow I have to get some blood work done (HSG to see if I am pregnant HAHA and a CBC which I don't know what it is but they are always running those on House) and a urinalysis (to check for UTI)
- Surgery is next Tuesday
- Monday I can have a light lunch and then nothing but clear liquids until midnight. Then nothing to eat or drink.
- Monday evening between 7-9pm I get to give myself an enema. This is seriously the worst part of all of this. Giving myself the shots for my injectables is going to be easy. Not really sure if I can do the enema thing but I guess I have to.
- I have a prescription for some sort of pill that I have to insert vaginally before I go to bed on Monday night that will soften and dilate my cervix.
- I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 am Tuesday morning which means I will have to leave here around 5ish. Hmm... no food+enema+vagina pill+no sleep = an already ticked off me. Oh, and add into that the no makeup thing and people might get hurt.

Apparently they aren't just going to do a laparoscopy like I thought. They are doing a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy and some sort of test to make sure that my tube is open, something like the HSG.I was told they are going to "scrape your uterus out". Yeah, not the words I really wanted to hear today. Or any day. I guess I am glad that they are just going to get everything over and done with. They will remove any endo they find. If there are any polyps in the uterus those can be removed. And they are going to make sure the tubes are open and I am all ready to go for infertility treatment.

After the surgery I should get my period. It will be pretty much a fake period that is induced by the surgery. I could bleed for 2-3 weeks (at which point I said, "Fantastic!"). Then after I get my first real period after that we can start "trying" which for us means injectables and IUI.

We are already on the no sex thing. Haven't had sex for... too long now. I had a sex dream last night so apparently I like sex more than I thought. I was told today, "Do not put anything in your vagina until your post-op appointment." I almost giggled some more. And it is totally unfair since they get to put things in my va-jay-jay.

Also, I have a prescription to get a renal ultrasound at some point after the surgery. The MRI I had done almost 4 years ago now had no mention of the kidneys. Long story, but I am almost positive I have two kidneys, although my dr said that even if I have two kidneys, I might not have two ducts leading from the kidneys to my bladder. As I mentioned before, the MRI does talk about my back being all screwed up and my RE recommended that I go see someone about that, I guess because I don't have enough issues going on with my health right now.

It has been a pretty crappy couple of weeks for me. I got a cold. Then I had a flare up of my back and could barely walk for about a week. That finally got better and I got the worst case of poison ivy I have ever had (all over my arms and face, and boy do I look smoking hot right now because of it). I am finally getting on the mend from that and I'll be headed in for surgery. Yay!

Getting Ready

I mentioned in my last post that I got a big packet of information from my dr concerning my upcoming laparoscopy. I started reading some of it today. There was a video on anesthesia that I was supposed to watch. Like the good patient that I am, I cracked open a beer and settled in to learn about anesthesia. I thoroughly enjoyed the parts where it told me I could die. I am not too keen on the part where it told me I can't wear makeup the day of surgery. I am not vain - hardly - but the thought of having to go out in public with absolutely no makeup on is almost as scary as the death warning. I need my foundation!

During the viewing, I suddenly had this flashback to last year. We sold our old house to a woman who is a anesthesiologist. She works in the same part of town where my surgery is being done. Sure, there are several hospitals in this part of town and she could work at any of them, but I am now convinced that that woman is going to be putting me under. I really hope she loves our old house and has no reason to take revenge on me.

I've been under general anesthesia twice in my life. Once when I was about 8 for a very odd cosmetic surgery and once when I was 19 to get my wisdom teeth out. Both went well. I didn't die. I did awake from one of the surgeries (not saying which one) with a very pissed off mother who had just discovered while I was out of it that I had gotten a new tattoo.

I meant to post a couple weeks ago when I decided that I have endometriosis. Having a laparoscopy is really the only way to diagnose it. However, I did some googling and as I was reading about what endometriosis was, I was going through the list of symptoms. As I read, I kept thing, "Check. Check. Check. Check." It was a light bulb moment and I just have this gut feeling that I have endometriosis. I am happy about it too. It is kind of like when I got diagnosed with my UU. All that time I kept thinking that there was something wrong, some bigger reason why we were reproducing. Then I found out I had a UU and I was relieved. It let me off the hook. I could stop thinking I wasn't getting pregnant because sucked at timing sex right or we were using the wrong lubrication or that I had created some horrible sin and God was punishing me. Instead, I was just born that way. There was a lot of grim information about endo with some hope sprinkled in there. Although I am not looking forward to going under the knife, I am looking forward to waking up and hearing that I have endometriosis and that it was treated. And hopefully that will mean some relief from this monthly hell of pain. Maybe it will even mean a future baby in my belly.

The First Inklings of a Plan

I had a followup appointment with my RE this evening. AF was two days late so today was day 1 of my cycle as well. There was lots of talking going on and most of it wasnt surprising. All my test results came back normal, apart from the half a uterus thing. He went over in far more detail than I will here four next courses of action:

1. IVF
2. Injectables with IUI
3. Agressive Clomid Cycle
4. Laparoscopy

DH wasnt at the appointment with me so basically I was told that we were supposed to discuss it and get back to him with what we have decided. We have discussed it and have decided to wait a few days. We aren't planning on doing IVF and we arent really the best canidates for an aggressive clomid cycle since that is used mainly if my periods werent regular, which they are. He brought up doing a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. I mentioned before about having painful periods recently. Also, one of his fellows had done a research project on endomentriosis and found that women with fair skin and red hair are more likely to have it. I wanted to tell him that I just dyed my hair yesterday (which I did) and it usually isn't this red but I don't think that would change the fact that I have fair skin and my natural hair color has red in it.

I asked him about which side my uterus was because during the sonohysterogram I thought they said it was on the left but I thought that when I was originally diagnosed they said it was on the right. He pulled out the paperwork and said that the sonohysterogram said left but during the exam they said right and asked, "So does that make sense to you?" I said, "No, not at all." I was a little concerned because he didnt seem to realize why I felt this information was important. I made some comment about how if I ovulated from the ovary that was not connected to my uterus, that it would be pointless to go ahead with an IUI since the egg(s) wouldnt get to my uterus anyway. Then he seemed to get where I was coming from and immediately jumped on board. Along with all the other stuff I need to do over the next couple weeks pertaining to my fertility, I need to try to track down the results from the HSG I had done 3.5 years ago because that will be the most conclusive test to find out where my uterus is hanging out.

DH and I talked tonight and pretty much decided we are doing the injectables, which is pretty much what we had decided before we went in. However, we are going to wait the next couple of days and see how things go pain-wise for this cycle. I really dont want to have a laparoscopy, but I also really dont want to be in pain like I was last month either. As of right now, just normal period cramps.

I got a huge folder from the RE talking all about treatments. I have a giant checklist that I have to tackle at some point when I am feeling less overwhelmed. At the top of the list is calling my insurance to find out if anything is covered and where I should get my drugs from. Also need to get those HSG results sent to the RE. The RE said something about calling them about 2 weeks before this cycle ends and I should have some things done by then... only I don't remember what things I am supposed to get done. I probably won't have a chance to read anything in the packet until Thursday. So that is that. A lot of nothing.