A Couple Things
Yeah, still here. Just doing my typical staying insanely busy so I don't have time to think about crap that sucks. Been doing such a good job of it that things are starting to feel like they suck less. At least for the time being.
I had a lengthy conversation with my old high school friend and never once mentioned the fact that I was pregnant for 30 seconds. It wasn't that I felt I had to tell her just because she told me she had a miscarriage. It is more like I feel like I am lying all the time. People ask me what I have been up to or what is on my mind or what is new and all I can think about it is all the crap that happened to me with the pregnancy and surgery and loss. So what's new with me? And I have to say, "Nothing really." I also had dinner with a close friend last week. I was thinking at one point that I would just tell her the whole story because she really is a close friend. In the end, I didn't. I covered up and lied and left out parts which made me feel like a crappy friend. I guess this could all be avoided by just avoiding people. But I need people around me at this point to distract me from life.
I started charting again a few days ago just because I know I am supposed to ovulate soon. I would like to know when that happens so I have an idea of when my next cycle will start. That will help with planning around doctor visits for all the blood work and u/s. Also, need to order my meds a couple weeks before I need them and need to know when I will need them. I should be good with the Gonal-F. What I have expires at the end of February so as long as this cycle isn't totally crazy it should be fine. I'll just need the trigger shot and the progesterone. I should be ovulating today or tomorrow or something like that. Who knows really. I am not sure if my cycle is going to be all crazy since I was pregnant for two minutes and had surgery.
I had some follow up blood work done today. I had to have my glucose level checked since it was elevated last check and also had to get checked out for my white blood cell count. I went to a local lab to have the blood work done and they are supposed to fax the results to my RE. I should probably call them in a week to see what the results were.
I've been trying to take better care of myself. I started exercising and paying more attention to what I eat. I have gained a few pounds between the holidays and infertility drugs and being stuck in bed post-surgery. All my efforts apparently aren't worth it. I have gained 1.1 lbs in the past 5 days. This is usually what ends up happening to me. I try to lose weight and take better care of myself and somehow not paying any attention to my health works out better for me.
We booked our summer vacation. We are going with my parents in June. We could have gotten a much better deal had we gone in late August but I kept insisting that I wanted to go in June with no reason given to my parents why. I could be pregnant. I would rather be 2 months less pregnant at the beach. I guess the fact that I am thinking that I might be pregnant is a good sign that I am being hopeful. Or else I could be setting myself up for more depression if summer vacation comes and I am at the beach and not pregnant at all.
I had a lengthy conversation with my old high school friend and never once mentioned the fact that I was pregnant for 30 seconds. It wasn't that I felt I had to tell her just because she told me she had a miscarriage. It is more like I feel like I am lying all the time. People ask me what I have been up to or what is on my mind or what is new and all I can think about it is all the crap that happened to me with the pregnancy and surgery and loss. So what's new with me? And I have to say, "Nothing really." I also had dinner with a close friend last week. I was thinking at one point that I would just tell her the whole story because she really is a close friend. In the end, I didn't. I covered up and lied and left out parts which made me feel like a crappy friend. I guess this could all be avoided by just avoiding people. But I need people around me at this point to distract me from life.
I started charting again a few days ago just because I know I am supposed to ovulate soon. I would like to know when that happens so I have an idea of when my next cycle will start. That will help with planning around doctor visits for all the blood work and u/s. Also, need to order my meds a couple weeks before I need them and need to know when I will need them. I should be good with the Gonal-F. What I have expires at the end of February so as long as this cycle isn't totally crazy it should be fine. I'll just need the trigger shot and the progesterone. I should be ovulating today or tomorrow or something like that. Who knows really. I am not sure if my cycle is going to be all crazy since I was pregnant for two minutes and had surgery.
I had some follow up blood work done today. I had to have my glucose level checked since it was elevated last check and also had to get checked out for my white blood cell count. I went to a local lab to have the blood work done and they are supposed to fax the results to my RE. I should probably call them in a week to see what the results were.
I've been trying to take better care of myself. I started exercising and paying more attention to what I eat. I have gained a few pounds between the holidays and infertility drugs and being stuck in bed post-surgery. All my efforts apparently aren't worth it. I have gained 1.1 lbs in the past 5 days. This is usually what ends up happening to me. I try to lose weight and take better care of myself and somehow not paying any attention to my health works out better for me.
We booked our summer vacation. We are going with my parents in June. We could have gotten a much better deal had we gone in late August but I kept insisting that I wanted to go in June with no reason given to my parents why. I could be pregnant. I would rather be 2 months less pregnant at the beach. I guess the fact that I am thinking that I might be pregnant is a good sign that I am being hopeful. Or else I could be setting myself up for more depression if summer vacation comes and I am at the beach and not pregnant at all.
posted by AM | 5:29 PM
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