6w, 1d

Good news all around! First of all, my computer problem ended up not being fatal so that is good. Also, now more pregnant than I have ever been.

Back to my appointment yesterday. The PA said I didn't appear to be that dehydrated. She could prescribe me anti-nausea meds and if that didn't help to call in on Thursday and she would arrange for me to go to the hospital to get pumped full of fluids. Or if I really wanted to go to the hospital yesterday and get pumped full of fluids that was fine with her too. I opted for the meds, Zofran. From what I have read online, most drs won't prescribe it unless you can't even keep down water but I was really happy that I didn't have to suffer quite so much first. I had been suffering enough. I also had some blood work done to make sure that it wasn't a viral or bacterial infection.

I took my first dose of Zofran yesterday evening. Thirty minutes later I ate my entire dinner which was incredible (in part because DH cooked it and I didn't have to). Then my sister stopped by with her kids and I went out in the yard with her and watered the garden and hung out with her in the heat. I also told her the news. I said, "The good news is that my illness isn't contagious. It is just morning sickness." She chuckled. Then looked at me and said, "Wait, are you serious??" We talked for a minute or so more at which point I told her it was twins. She shrieked and DH looked up from where he was in the yard and just smiled, because he knew what I told her. I still have to tell my brother (who has no desire to have kids) and DH has to tell his sister who is currently on her honeymoon.

I felt mostly good today. I did end up crashing after lunch. I ate more today than I have in the last three days combined. I even woke up this morning and didn't feel like death. My mom was still here to help with the kids but she isn't planning to be here much tomorrow, just long enough for me to go to my u/s in the afternoon. I showered today and did two loads of laundry. I went to my kid's soccer practice and took a little nap on the bench which would have been embarrassing had I not just been so exhausted.

Also really good news, I got a call from the PA I saw yesterday. My blood work showed an elevated white blood cell count. Good news? Absolutely! This means that I am actually sick with something in addition to morning sickness. Thank goodness because whatever intestinal bug I have will go away a lot sooner than morning sickness will. I do have to go in again for blood work tomorrow to investigate my high white blood cell count a bit more to make sure it isn't anything bacterial (thus treatable) or something major. I am thinking it isn't going to be a problem and now all I have to deal with is being insanely tired and randomly gagging. Looking forward to vacation again!

6w

(My computer just completely stopped working and I can't finish this on my phone. So... To be continued.)

If I make it through today, I'll be more pregnant than I ever was before. I had my rudimentary horn and the pregnancy within it removed at 6 weeks last time around. The only good thing I can say about that pregnancy compared to this one is that I sure felt a hell of a lot better that time around.

Haven't really been out of bed since Sunday. But, back to Sunday. Don't really remember where I left off though.

I was at the IL's and kept getting this horrible pain in my side. I don't think it was my uterus. Thought for awhile that maybe it was my appendix. Maybe I ended up with cysts on my ovaries from the meds and they were bursting? I have no clue. All I could do was lay in the bed we were using and hope I didnt die until the pain passed. Then it came back. I thought I might throw up. I thought maybe if I just pooped... Nothing. I called my RE and they told me that if it happened again to go to the ER but I could come in on Monday (yesterday) for an u/s just to check things out and for peace of mind.

At one point I was feeling better so I went to hang out with everyone. MIL asked me about how I was feeling and wanted to know if it was the same kind of ill feeling she was feeling. And the door of opportunity opened. I said, "No, I think it is more a result of this little project that DH and I had planned for her now that the wedding was over." She was thoroughly confused so I said something like, "You know, planning for a new grandchild." She exclaimed in excitement and asked if we were adopting from the same country where we adopted our sons. I said, "Nooo..." She asked where from then. I said as I looked down at my belly, "From me!" She was all excited and smiled from ear to ear. I didnt really look at FIL but I am sure he was much more reserved in his reaction. Then DH chimed in with, "Only problem is, one just wasn't enough." To say she was shocked was an understatement. I think she accused us of trying to kill her since she was just getting over the fact that the wedding was over and now this! She said, "Well, how? I mean, I don't want to know details or anything but I didn't think this was possible. We told them we had some help and that was enough information for them.

I thought I was feeling better. By the time we got home from the IL's I was near death. I went right to bed and pretty much haven't been out of bed since. The plan was to wait to say anything to my parents until we were on vacation this coming weekend. However, it was clear early morning yesterday that I was going to be in no shape to take care of my kids. I called my mom who, unfortunately, was taking care of my sister's kids this week. She was able to work things out so she could be here around 9. I somehow managed to get my kids up, get them breakfast (while I layed on the floor next to the dining room table with my pillow, blanket, and barf bucket), and get them dressed. We watched cartoons until my mom got here.

I started trying to tell my mom what was going on but I just started crying because I felt so awful. This pregnancy thing the last couple days has not been a joyous occasioon at all. In fact yesterday there were several times when I was wishing I wasn't pregnant, that anything would be easier than dealing with this. It is like having the flu but way worse because at least with the flu you know it will end in a couple days. I still have weeks and maybe months to go with this. The main thought going through my head all day yestrday was, "This is not how this is supposed to be." I really had my doubts that I would even get pregnant. I was certainly not supposed to get pregnant with twins in my little half uterus. I am not naive enough to think that I wouldnt suffer from some morning sickness, but I never thought that it would be debilitating. So yeah, I was sitting there crying instead of telling my mom the wonderful news and DS1 was getting pretty worried about what was going on. So, I took my mom into my room.

I told her that I am knocked up with twins. She said, "I knew!" Well, she claims she knew that I was knocked up or at least something was up but not about the twins part. She said she was suspicious that something was up that day she was poking at my belly a couple weeks ago. Mostly she was worried though. I told her that the risk for me is the same as the risk for any other pregnant woman. It is just the risk for the babes that is increased. So, we will work that and hope everything works out because that is all we can do. (My mom told my dad last night. He reacted by picking up his newspaper and adjusting himself in his chair a little bit.)

I stayed in bed all day yesterday. I was making a mental list of people that I could call on to take care of my kids because I couldn't do it. My mom said not to worry about it that she will work it out. I am sure she would and complain about it the entire time. I was also dreading vacation and trying to figure out a way that could even work. We leave on Saturday. I couldnt even get out of bed. How the hell was I going to survive a car trip for 9+ hours with two kids and a dog? Plus, I usually do the majority of the driving and there was no way I could drive. Not sure if DH could even do that much driving.

Last night I made a list of things that needed to be done this week for DH. I felt horrible doing that but there was just no way I could do anything. DH asked if I could take Dramamine. I couldn't find anything conclusive on the internet so I decided to call today to find out. I thought I was feeling a little better but then 10:00 hit and I was dead to the world.

I woke up around 6 this morning so much sicker than I have been. I tried to eat a cracker and I couldnt get a single Saltine down. I managed a couple sips of water. I gagged into my bedside trashcan multiple times. DH was totally awesome and got breakfast ready for the kids so when I got them up all I had to do was put it on the table for them. The smell of toast from the other side of the house almost made me barf. I managed to go back to sleep for about 45 minutes and felt so much better when I got up.

My mom showed up around nine and I headed back to bed. I felt good enough to actually hold my phone and mess around on that. Yesterday all I could do was lay there and hope I didnt die. I called my OB and left a message about the Dramamine. They called back and said that they could prescribe something but since they havent seen me yet I would need to come in. They made me an appointment for this afternoon. I heart my new OB. From what I read on the internet, most OB's won't prescribe anything unless you are so sick that you can't keep down water.

My dad drove me to the appointment. I thought I could probably make it myself but then decided since I havent eaten for three days that maybe it wasnt such a good idea. My appointment was just with a PA. She didnt know what a unicornuate uterus was. I wasnt surprised.

5w, 1d

DH has been informed. All went as well as it could I suppose. He didn't get home from work until after 10. He sat down on the couch to tell me about what he was up to all day. I interrupted him and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Do you want a beer?
Him: What did you break?
Me: Do you want a beer?
Him: How many kids are in there?
Me: Do you want a beer?

He got his beer and I urged him to tell me about his day. He said he didn't think he could then, that he really only had one thing on his mind. But he went on anyway. Then he said it was my turn to talk. I said I had a present for him. I held up one big stuffed bear. He started laughing because he knew why I bought it. Then I said, "Only problem is, this bear comes with a friend," and I held up the second bear. "Oh no." Then he went on to say, "If I knew that was going to happen, I would have shot half my load outside the cup." This is the story I get to tell our children.

We talked a bit. DH voiced his concern that with two of them in there it causes the risk of losing both. I definitely agree with him but I am not concerned enough about it to pursue some other option. The conversation didn't last too long since I was so tired.

Felt completely awful today from the moment I woke up until about 3:00. Finally feeling better but now I am just so tired. I was depressed most of the day. Probably a combination of shock, hormones, and just not feeling well at all. Once I started feeling better and could act more human, my spirits definitely were raised.

I called the high risk doctor office today. I have an appointment with them on the 28th, the Monday after we get back from vacation. I almost busted up laughing when the lady asked for the reason for the appointment and I said, "I have a unicornuate uterus and am carrying twins." I don't know which part of that statement is more bizarre.

I've been trying to decide what to do about my OB. I really really love my current ob/gyn. However, he is located near my old house an hour away and doesn't deliver at any hospitals near here. The hospital to go to if there are issues is the one where my RE is located, but that is still 45 minutes away if there is absolutely no traffic. My current ob/gyn is not affiliated with that hospital. Since I am due in the dead of winter, that was just one more factor to consider with trying to travel to a hospital to deliver. In the end I decided to give a call to the first ob/gyn I ever saw when I was 18 because she had such a wonderful bedside manner. She is affiliated with the hospital that is 10 minutes from me, a hospital I have faith in and I know provides a lot of individual care. I will meet with a nurse from her office on the 29th, day after my high risk appointment, to exchange health information and have some blood work done. Then the following week I will have an appointment with the OB.

Hopefully my mom doesn't have much going on for the next 9 months because it is looking like I will be needing her help watching the kids for lots of upcoming appointments.

I saw my friend J tonight and got to tell her that everything was good, times two. She was really excited. When she got pregnant with her son, she was initially pregnant with twins. She ended up miscarrying one of them but she did have some good information about carrying twins in the first trimester.

Off to get some rest.

4w, 3d

Making a pregnant chick get up at 5 am and get herself and two kids to the city for blood work is just plain evil. Haven't been sleeping that great. Mostly because I have to pee a lot but also because in the evenings, my belly is just uncomfortable. It feels weird to be on my side.

I was so tired by the time I got home, I fell asleep on the couch while the kids were in a tv coma. Never did that before. It was just long enough to make me functional until the kids' naptime.

My numbers are good! They were 400 on Wednesday and they were looking for them to double. Today they were 1100. So, more than doubled but not so much that it is freaking me out for no real reason. My first pregnancy u/s is scheduled for Tuesday. DH said he could either go with me or at least watch the kids since all my appointments have been early morning. Unfortunately, they schedule their pregnancy u/s differently. My appointment is at 2 and he won't be able to go or watch the kids. So, made up a lie to my mom about a dermatologist appointment and she is watching the kids. Although no official plans have been made, I am thinking we will probably be telling our parents soon as long as everything works out with the u/s. The nurse who called about the blood work results and to schedule the u/s said that this u/s is mainly to make sure that the pregnancy is in the uterus. Yeah, way to put a girl at ease. All I need right now is an ectopic pregnancy.

Understandably, I am completely dreading this u/s. That first u/s last time around was where I went from blissfully ignorant pregnant chick to all hell just broke out in my freakish anatomy. It is hard not to think that come Tuesday, any happiness I have about what is going on in my belly won't vanish in an instant.

4w, 1d

I am now officially pregnant. In the words of the nurse at my RE's office, "You are most certainly pregnant." Got my blood drawn this morning, obviously. I was a bit anxious about getting the results, mostly because I needed to know if I was going to be feeling really stupid for thinking I was pregnant when I was not. Then when the nurse called I had to pretend to be all shocked and excited about pregnant when I really knew that I was.

I have to go back on Friday to have more blood work to see if my hcg level doubled. Today it was 400. At this stage in the game, they usually looking for a hcg level around 100. So of course I did exactly what I knew I shouldn't and got on to google to see what I could find about high hcg levels. Apparently a high hcg level can mean absolutely nothing. Or can mean a pregnancy with multiples. Or it can mean a molar pregnancy which is a bad thing that happens in 1 out of every 1,000 pregnancies and doesn't result in a baby and I am not going to explain anymore about that. If you happened to come across my blog because you googled something about high levels of hcg during pregnancy, just step away from the search engines... now.

Probably next week I'll have an u/s if everything looks fine with my bloodwork on Friday. I will be released from my RE once they can see a heartbeat, probably around 6-7 weeks. There is no plans for me to see my RE again. I asked about getting referred to a peri since I'm likely considered high risk. The nurse said that she would ask my RE about it and get back to me by Friday if he recommended it. After everything I have read about UU's and pregnancy, no matter what he says I am going to try to track down a peri as long as everything ends up fine with my u/s. I would rather be over treated than not treated enough.

I'm already making a list of things to do in my head, even though I know there is no point in doing anything until after I see how the u/s goes. First on the list is finding a new ob. I really love my ob but he is over an hour away and doesn't deliver at any hospital anywhere near me. I already feel bad about potentially leaving him but it just doesn't make sense to stay.

I felt pretty much normal today, which was way better than I was feeling the past few days. My uterus area is still a little tender and my stomach muscles feel like I have been doing sit-ups. That is about it though.

I emailed DH to tell him I was pregnant. I figured the rest of this process has been anti-climatic, should probably keep with it!

Cycle 4, 14 dpIUI

I guess I am now unofficially pregnant. It must have been in the middle of the night last night when I thought maybe I would go ahead and POAS. Sure, I knew there was still a tiny minor chance of a false positive and yeah the pregnancy test I was going to use expired more than 3 years ago... but what was the point of having that thing just laying around if I wasn't going to pee on it?

"They" say you are supposed to take them first thing in the morning when your pee is most concentrated. That was another issue. I have been peeing pretty much every 2 hours during the night. I woke up at 2:30 and figured if I could make it until 6:30 when I was going to get up, then it might be worth it to give it a try. I woke up a little before 6:30 and had to pee soooo bad. DH was in the bathroom getting ready for work. Any other day I would have just found my way to the other bathroom but my pregnancy test was in the bathroom he was in. I rolled around in pain for a bit and finally he came out and I went in. I peed. I watched the little line of pee moving up the pee stick. I was pretty sure it was negative. Then I actually waited a minute and sure enough, obvious BFP. It was amazingly anti-climatic.

Yesterday at some random point I told DH, "I guess you should know that I am pretty sure I am pregnant." He said something like, "Okay." Then we went back to what we were doing. This morning I told him I took the super expired test and it was positive so I guess I am pregnant, maybe. He said, "Yay. Maybe." Then he gave me a kiss and left for work. We are such exciting people. Or more like we know that until a healthy baby pops out of my body and into this world, we should probably not get too excited.

I felt the worst I have felt last night and most of today. I was trying to get to sleep last night and my uterus was burning. The fetal position was pretty much the only one I could handle. Today everything from the bottom of my ribcage to the top of my thighs was crampy and achy and horribly uncomfortable. While out running errands this afternoon with the kids it would not have surprised me if I would have just collapsed. Is it possible to overdo it this early? While my kids nap in the afternoon, I typically get caught up on some things around the house. Today I laid on the couch covered up in a blanket, eating Jolly Ranchers (which I hear is supposed to help the uneasy stomach thing), and stared at my laptop. I have felt pretty great since then. My uterus area is still a bit sore if one of the kids push on it or I bend over, but I think I might venture out to walk the dog here shortly.

Oh, and I called and made an appointment to have my blood pregnancy test done tomorrow. The kids and I will be up and out of here by 6 am to find out if I am officially pregnant.

Just as a disclaimer, I am happy I am pregnant. Shocked too since I really thought that those follicles wouldn't grow big enough. (Still there is a chance that I am not pregnant in my uterus, or that the follicles from the wrong side were able to freakishly make their way to the right side.) Even though I would much rather be pregnant than not be, I still keep thinking of all these upcoming things I am going to miss out on. There are two outdoor concerts I'm going to in July where there will be not a sip of beer taken. Not that I like to get smashed or anything, but tailgating and laughing at stupid people followed by listening to great music under the stars just won't be the same. I figured we would take the kids to two amusement parks this summer. Not sure if there is much point to that since DH doesn't really ride much and I won't be able to ride with the kids much. Vacation is just 3 weeks away, which will be an entire week spent with my parents. I have a feeling that the beans will be spilled by then but if not, my mom will definitely realize something is up when I am sick, dead tired, and not drinking at all. Then there is the drive to and from vacation that I usually do while DH entertains the kids/sleeps. Probably not going to happen since I will be so exhausted, yet who in the world can sleep with two loud kids in the back of the car? No more running. No more looking forward the 5k I was hoping to do with my friends in September. Girls' weekend next spring will be out since I'll have a baby stuck to my boob. I am sure I could keep going. I suppose it is good that I am thinking this far in advance because it must mean that I am optimistic that I will make it that far.

And yet, I am not really supposed to complain! I am supposed to be so joyous that I am unofficially pregnant! Yippie! Go half uterus!

I had a dream last night that I told someone I was pregnant and then 2 seconds later I was holding a newborn baby girl that looked exactly like I did when I was a newborn.

While out doing errands I noticed at the counter of the one store was a collection jar to donate to March of Dimes. Hell yea I am putting money in there! I practically cleaned out my purse to stuff that thing full of karma!